Day 35 and 36

There is a story in the bible about this guy name Job.  It's one of my favorite books in the bible.  This man gets tested by Satan and never ever turns his back on God.  The verse I love is when he is stripped of everything he has, his family, his wealth, and his health, he proclaims: "Naked I come from the womb and naked I will return, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, may the name of the Lord be praised!"  That's true faith and dedication.  I told myself when I got sick that I would try to be like Job.  To have his faith and resolve in times of crisis.  His friends come over and spend time with him in his darkest days.  It's a powerful book.  I've had a pretty busy week.  This is the week that I feel the strongest before heading into the 3rd cycle of chemo.  I am trying to do as many things as my body will allow before next week hits and I get run down again.  I've prepared my taxes, worked on our finances and began preparing my will.  Everyone calm down, the will is me being prudent and responsible, not me being morbid- I will not have to use it for many, many years to come.

I am thankful to so many of my friends that have taken time out of their busy lives to drive me around; taking me to movies, the mall, or the pharmacy for drugs.  All the people that have come over to hang out and help me watch Rhys when June is at work.  Just trying to make sure life is comfortable for me and that things aren't crazy hectic around me.  June and I talk about how we hope to be a blessing and support to our friends in time of need in the future just like they have been to us.  I am also grateful for those who drive me to chemo or come down to sit on the uncomfortable plastic chair while I am lounging in the cushioned recliner.  I know chemotherapy treatment is not supposed to be pleasant but having someone there sometimes makes all the difference.  I see the same patients each time and some of them come in alone, never having any support person there and I wonder if they are alone.  Do they have anyone to talk to or just to be there for them at home and out of treatment?  I try to strike up conversation and be a support person as I am stuck with the IV myself.  June always says that when she comes to pick me up, all she has to do is stand in the hallway and listen for the loudest chemo room- and that is usually the one I am in.  Yes, I am the life of the party even in chemo, haha.

 Inappropriate story of the week- I went to deposit a large cheque yesterday at TD trust and the teller said they had to hold it for 7 business days because of the amount.  I said no problem but I am not working and on medical leave so what if I needed the money sooner for medical reasons?  This guy then asks me if I was in an accident or something?  I said no, I am critically ill and off on short term disability.  He asked me what that meant.  So I told him that it meant I have cancer (hoping he would release the funds quicker).  Instead he asked me what kind of cancer did I have? I am not even joking.  I told him that's kinda personal, he said sorry and then still didn't release  my funds.  It was a weird conversation.  I was about to tell him I have the cancer that is none of your damn business.  But the new and improved Gil took the high road and just laughed it off.  Can you say, "sensitivity training?"

Inappropriate story of the week #2- I went to go see Battle Los Angeles with Chris the other day and as we walked into the theatre, there was a couple there in the front row beside the handicap seats with what looked like a 2 year old girl.  We shook our heads at them.  They brought their 2 year old to a violent movie.  The front row no less.  She would see all the scary previews and hear the gazillion gunshots/bombings throughout the movie.  I was mortified.  When the movie ended, we walked past them and the baby was asleep in the mother's arms.  Thank God.  I hate to be judgmental here...how about waiting for it to come out in dvd and rent it.  Sheesh.

Day 33 and 34

Last day of treatment for round 2.  I guess I am unofficially halfway through treatment.  Rest for next 6 days and Monday is round 3.  I went with Rhys to gym class today.  Found out she has my attention span and also follows orders from teachers much like I did in school.  Not very!  It was cool to hang out with all the other moms and their kids.  The whole place smelled like feet.  All this chemo and no nausea...until today- and it was from a kids foam pit.  Haha.

My mom and dad took me to treatment today.  I think it was good for them to see what's been going on.  I will try and take a picture and post it in the future so you can get a visual of what chemo looks like.   It's not as bad as people think.

The other day, I spoke to my aunt and she told me she loved me.  It could be the first time anyone in my immediate or  extended family has ever said that to me.   Chinese people don't really throw that word around...ever.  I got a lump in my throat.  Rhys tells me she loves me all the time, just randomly out of the blue she will bust out a, "I luv u dada!" but she will follow that up with a, "are you my daddy?" Ah the joys of having a little girl.

some pics of us at gym class:

Day 32

The last day for shooting myself up (well, June stabbing me with the needle) with neupogen, the white cell booster.  I have been jabbed with so many needles, I am beginning to look like a druggie.  Yet I am still scared of that needle. Go figure.  At least now the back and bone pain will slowly disappear and after Monday's treatment, it's rest up to Round 3.  I have to say, every nurse and doctor I talk to tells me that I am responding to the treatment and handling the side effects, better than most.  The chemotherapy literature is very clear in stating that whether you get sick from the side effects or not is absolutely no indicator of whether the treatment is working.  That's a relief.  Whoever in blogworld is reading this- thank you.  We know that I am not the healthiest guy out there.  I truly believe that I am holding up physically so well,  because of so many of your prayers and thoughts.  The doctors say attitude affects more than we know when it comes to treatment.  When I walk into that chemo room I never feel alone.  It's like that AT & T commercial where the guy has tons of people behind him representing the network.  That's how I feel.  Like every single one of you is crammed in that room with me, bugging the nurses, asking the doctors, looking at the meds--making sure I am ok.  Does this cancer really have a chance?

On a separate note--how good are the Canucks, seriously.  They are never out of it no matter what the score is.  I like that kind of attitude.  Never out of it, no matter what.

New nicknames to add to the list:

1. Dr. Evil
2. Mini me
3.  The guy from the Nintendo game punchout (what's his name?)
4. Demi Moore in GI Jane
5. Dr Xavier( and his school for the gifted)
6. Dude from The Adam's family
7. Sinead O' Conner
8. Ross's girlfriend in Friends- Bonnie

Day 31

Family.  I have always had a pretty good relationship with my family.   I have a younger brother and sister.  We fought a lot as kids but always had each other's backs.  My parents ran a restaurant and they worked long hours so we took care of each other.  Since the diagnosis, my family has pretty much been my unofficial cancer base camp .  June has obviously been amazing in making sure I am taken care of and so many friends have helped out or offered help.  But my family is the brain trust.

At the cancer clinic,  I have a team of medical staff that makes sure I am ok medically;  my oncologists, chemo nurses, pharmacists, procedure nurses, blood work staff.  Outside of the clinic, my family has been the other team.  My mom has unofficially become a Chinese oncologist.  The medical breakthroughs she comes up with daily is both mind boggling  and hilarious.  I call her Dr. Yeung.  My dad and mom, brother and sister (and bro in law) take turns watchin Rhys when I can't or when June is at work.  Not only watch her but they teach her things and spoil her and run around with her when I can't.  My brother and sister take me to chemo sometimes and drive me around.  They shop for us.  Get me whatever my weird taste buds are craving.  My mom cooks her "cancer healing" meals, and makes me soup everyday--a special soup that is supposed to boost my immune system.  I haven't had the guts to share this with my oncologists.  Do the cancer researchers know about this?  Should they add it to the protocol?  We spend quality time as a family.  Intentional quality time.  I know my mom is scared.  She doesn't understand all the medical jargon that I tried to explain.  I keep telling her I'm gonna be ok.  But like any mother, her heart is broken because her son is sick.  I pray that the peace that I have in my situation is transfered over to them.  That they feel the peace from God as well.

Usually it's tragedy that brings families together.  Don't wait for that.  Call your family, spend time with them.  I can't imagine going through this without them.

Day 30

I never did too much drugs when I was younger.  Well, I am definitely making up for that now.  For those of you following my progress, my faith in God is the core of my well being.  But I believe faith and medicine go hand in hand.  I pray everyday for my doctors and cancer research.  I believe God created the cures and gives wisdom and understanding to these amazing researchers in fighting this disease and many others.  Not just sitting here waiting to sacrifice a goat to beat cancer.  On that note, lets take a look at what is in Gil's body, shall we.

The Big 3: My main chemo meds (same ones used to treat lance)
1. Etoposide
2. Cisplatin
3. Bleomycin

Anti Nausea:
4. Ondansetron
5. Emend-Aprepitant
6. Apo-Prochlorazine
7. Dexamethasone

Hiccups and reflux:
8. Ran-Raberprazole
9. Zantac

White blood cell generation:
10. Neupogen
11. Tylenol 3 (for neupogen side effects)

11 is my favorite number. Haha

On another medical note.  It has been decided that due to my blood tumor markers when I was first diagnosed, my blood levels were right on the cusp on whether to get 3 rounds of chemo or 4 according to protocol.  After some discussion, my oncologist and I have decided to continue on with a 4th round and leave no stone unturned. Some of my buddies will say it's the cheap guy in me trying to squeeze as much treatment as I can to get my money's worth.  They know me so well.

Round 4 of chemo...I say bring it on, or as Rocky said..."1 more round!"

Day 29

Day 7-10 is generally when my immune system is the weakest.  My white blood cell is very low and I am more susceptible to infection.  Yesterday evening I began to feel my temperature rise and started to check it every half hour.  Under protocol, if I hit 38 degrees, I may have an infection that my body cannot fight and I may have to go to emergency for observation.  Thermometer kept rising, 36, 36.5, 37, 37.6.  June was going to be home in an hour and I began to make preparations to go to the hospital.  She came home and I told her the situation.  We stopped and prayed and asked God to drop my fever.  We prayed that His healing hand would come over me and take care of me in my weakened state.  Half an hour later I checked my temperature again.  37, 36.5, 36 and finally normal.  Funny how you really don't miss something till its gone.  Who would think that I would miss my white blood cells so much, eh?

Here's a pic of me and Rhys proof reading my blog.

Thanks for the giant card from work guys!  Long live Coke Zero!

Day 28

Woke up feeling almost brand new.  What a difference a day makes.  My friend Will sent this to me today.  Just what I needed to hear, let's see if this works:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGNA2_2WhpA

and if you can't get this link- it's a song from one of my favorite artists, David Crowder- here are the lyrics.

Powerful.

How He Loves:


He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.


We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way...

...thanks Will


Funny story of the day:  As my wife continues her career as my nurse by stabbing me with the syringe daily, I knew things were too good to be true. Today, she forgot to squeeze the part of my arm that she was supposed to poke and then went and tried to jab me with the needle anyways.  I screamed in pain as the needle didn't quite make it all the way.  Nevertheless, the needle only went partially in and then she had to start all over again.  She apologized profusely as I lay there whimpering and crying about being stabbed not once but twice today.  Can't anything go right in my life?  Squeeze arm then stab, not stab then squeeze.  Any nurses out there willing to offer their professional services? Somebody about to be fired!