I came to a bit of a realization that I wanted to share. This happened in my men's group bible study on Friday. We were discussing how our busy lives affect our family life and how we love our spouses and kids. Something quite unique has happened since cancer. I didn't really think about it until recently.
As fathers, there are a few things we all do. We love to give ourselves major credit when we are able to handle our kids without our wives. I used to think, wow, I did it, I put Rhys to bed. The entire process- dinner, bath, brushing teeth, storytime and finally to bed. I am amazing. Or, I just took Rhys out to shopping or to the library...I am super dad. Then you begin to realize that the things you want to be awarded a medal for- your wife does on a day to day basis...without any fanfare. Before cancer, I would come home tired, and not want to put Rhys down or play games or just give her the attention she wanted. For 9 months I was with her everyday, waking and sleeping. Something changed. I will be the first to admit that it is tougher to read my bible as much as I did when I was off on treatment. It's been easier to pray- but that's because there seems to be so much to pray for. Both thanksgiving and seeking God's wisdom. My relationship with June has somewhat changed. We still argue like any two married people. Our patience ebbs and flows. One thing that hasn't changed is Rhys. I absolutely love spending time with her. No matter how tired I am from work, or how difficult she is being, I welcome every second with her. I know it's a weird thing to lay claim to, as all parents should love their kids and want to spend time with them. But it's hard sometimes. Life gets busy, meltdowns happen and there are still sleepless nights. I really can't explain it. Whether she is crying, laughing, peeing all over the place or sleeping. I can't get enough of this child. My patience is short sometimes for work things, wife things, friends and just the general public. But for Rhys, I have all the time in the world. I find it strange...definitely a change from before. I spend a 5 hour plane ride from Toronto to Vancouver last week. A baby 2 rows in front cried for 4 and half hours of the flight. It didn't even faze me. Crying babies- music to my ears. I am a freak right? Maybe hundreds of games of candyland later. Or reading the same Olivia book every night will soon take its toll. But tonight, Rhys and I went to superstore to shop. June was out and it was daddy/daughter hangout day. We ran up and down all over superstore and bought a portable kids toilet seat( yes mostly for peeing in chinese restaurant bathrooms), some bubble bath and crackers. As we drove home, Rhys goes.."daddy, i love hanging out with you". I know it won't always be like this...she is going to grow up and things may change. But I will cherish every moment that I have with her. I wish I could be like this for other areas of my life.
Got a blood test this week and then another cancer checkup at the end of the month. No matter how hard you try to block it from your mind, the weeks leading up to checkup sucks. Every aching back pain makes you wonder if it was the same pain you felt when you got diagnosed. But then I keep thinking about what Job said to his wife when she told him to curse God and die and get it over with. "You are a talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?"
If you haven't received my email yet...please give to movember. thanks
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Movember 5
Hi,
It’s Movember, the month formerly known as November, which is dedicated to growing moustaches and raising awareness and funds for men’s health. I have joined the movement and will be donating my upper lip to the cause for 30 days. My Mo will spark conversations, and no doubt generate some laughs; all in the name of raising vital awareness and funds for prostate cancer.
Why am I so passionate about men’s health?
*On average men live 4-5 years less than women
*1 in 7 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime
* 25,500 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer this year in Canada
I invite you to support me by donating to me http://mobro.co/gilyeung
You can even go old school and write a cheque payable to “Movember Canada”, reference my name and Registration Number 2411942 and send it to: Movember Canada, 119 Spadina Avenue, PO Box 65, Toronto, ON M5T 2T2
All donations are tax deductible.
We only have a month to grow Mos and raise awareness and fund, so please come along for the ride.
Funds raised will help make a tangible difference to the lives of others. Through the Movember Foundation and their men’s health partner, the Prostate Cancer Canada, Movember is funding world class awareness, research, educational and support programs which would otherwise not be possible.
For more details on how the funds raised from previous campaigns have been used and the impact Movember is having please click on the links below:
About Movember
Prostate Cancer Foundation research
Global Action Plan
Please donate here - http://mobro.co/gilyeung
Thank you in advance for helping me change the face of men's health. Go the Mo!
gilbert yeung
Moustache Season. Now Open.
It’s Movember, the month formerly known as November, which is dedicated to growing moustaches and raising awareness and funds for men’s health. I have joined the movement and will be donating my upper lip to the cause for 30 days. My Mo will spark conversations, and no doubt generate some laughs; all in the name of raising vital awareness and funds for prostate cancer.
Why am I so passionate about men’s health?
*On average men live 4-5 years less than women
*1 in 7 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime
* 25,500 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer this year in Canada
I invite you to support me by donating to me http://mobro.co/gilyeung
You can even go old school and write a cheque payable to “Movember Canada”, reference my name and Registration Number 2411942 and send it to: Movember Canada, 119 Spadina Avenue, PO Box 65, Toronto, ON M5T 2T2
All donations are tax deductible.
We only have a month to grow Mos and raise awareness and fund, so please come along for the ride.
Funds raised will help make a tangible difference to the lives of others. Through the Movember Foundation and their men’s health partner, the Prostate Cancer Canada, Movember is funding world class awareness, research, educational and support programs which would otherwise not be possible.
For more details on how the funds raised from previous campaigns have been used and the impact Movember is having please click on the links below:
About Movember
Prostate Cancer Foundation research
Global Action Plan
Please donate here - http://mobro.co/gilyeung
Thank you in advance for helping me change the face of men's health. Go the Mo!
gilbert yeung
Moustache Season. Now Open.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Thursday Movember 3, 2011
Yes, that's right. Movember. I did it last year and I wasn't even sick. When you all stop laughing...it's for a good cause. Yes, this asian man, who recently lost all his hair is not growing it wherever he can. Mostly the upper lip. Here is some info.
http://ca.movember.com/about
in a nutshell, its for prostate cancer. So, I will be taking pictures and I know it won't look like I am involved until about week 3 and yes, I will take all the "you got some dirt on your lip" jokes. If you want to support the cause...please email me or text me
gilyeung@live.com
6049700808
my goal is to raise more money than the other asian at work.
Probably time for a heath update. Everyone at work is telling me that I am working too many hours. I am trying to balance. Made it home for dinner twice this week. The crying of Rhys before preschool has stopped. Life has a semblance of normalcy. Of course there is another bloodtest next week and another followup checkup at the end of November but I am refusing to live life from one checkup to another. One of my favorite "suffering" verses in the bible is found in the book of Job
Naked I come from the womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, may the name of the Lord be praised. Job 1 :21
When I was younger, I looked at this verse in admiration. Job did have everything taken away from him and yet his faith didn't waiver. I always thought it would be cool to be that faithful. Many years later, I am now experiencing this verse in a much different place. My daily struggle of putting my faith in God for not only my health but my family's well being doesn't even come close to what Job faced but I get a glimpse. Everytime I feel an ache in my back and the thoughts of the cancer returning enter my brain. It gives me an opportunity to trust God with my life all over again. I am reminded constantly for a reason...the reasons for God's goodness, mercy and grace.
Yes there is another blog...urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
http://ca.movember.com/about
in a nutshell, its for prostate cancer. So, I will be taking pictures and I know it won't look like I am involved until about week 3 and yes, I will take all the "you got some dirt on your lip" jokes. If you want to support the cause...please email me or text me
gilyeung@live.com
6049700808
my goal is to raise more money than the other asian at work.
Probably time for a heath update. Everyone at work is telling me that I am working too many hours. I am trying to balance. Made it home for dinner twice this week. The crying of Rhys before preschool has stopped. Life has a semblance of normalcy. Of course there is another bloodtest next week and another followup checkup at the end of November but I am refusing to live life from one checkup to another. One of my favorite "suffering" verses in the bible is found in the book of Job
Naked I come from the womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, may the name of the Lord be praised. Job 1 :21
When I was younger, I looked at this verse in admiration. Job did have everything taken away from him and yet his faith didn't waiver. I always thought it would be cool to be that faithful. Many years later, I am now experiencing this verse in a much different place. My daily struggle of putting my faith in God for not only my health but my family's well being doesn't even come close to what Job faced but I get a glimpse. Everytime I feel an ache in my back and the thoughts of the cancer returning enter my brain. It gives me an opportunity to trust God with my life all over again. I am reminded constantly for a reason...the reasons for God's goodness, mercy and grace.
Yes there is another blog...urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
Monday, October 17, 2011
Monday Oct 17, 2011
(if you are tired of this blog, check out my other blog- urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
Another landmark today. Rhys went to preschool and didn't cry. She has been crying for a month straight everytime June or I brought her. Today, my brother, mom and dad brought her... not one tear. We always ask her why she cries when we bring her and then is ok when we leave. She always tells us it's because she misses us. When I asked her why she didn't cry today. She screamed...it's because I don't miss uncle Dan, yeah!!! Seriously, amidst all the yelling and tantrums, this kid cracks me up.
Thanks for all that came out last last Sunday to hear me share at church. It meant a lot to see you there. Big shout out to Rosy and Kelv from Pacific Grace (you know you are old when you're former youth group kids are graduating from univeristy). Thanks for the baby that cried in the third service and let me attempt a "shigematsu" as I call it. Gonna have to come to tenth to find out what that means. Seriously though, so much respect for all my pastors at Tenth. 4 sermons in one day- amazing. Really sinks in when you listen to all 4 sermons too. I recommend that to all. Just try it once, go to all 4 services, I guarantee you will get something different from each one.
If you missed it, its online if you want to check it out:
http://www.tenth.ca/media.php?pageID=29
and if you rather just read: here is what I shared.
Another landmark today. Rhys went to preschool and didn't cry. She has been crying for a month straight everytime June or I brought her. Today, my brother, mom and dad brought her... not one tear. We always ask her why she cries when we bring her and then is ok when we leave. She always tells us it's because she misses us. When I asked her why she didn't cry today. She screamed...it's because I don't miss uncle Dan, yeah!!! Seriously, amidst all the yelling and tantrums, this kid cracks me up.
Thanks for all that came out last last Sunday to hear me share at church. It meant a lot to see you there. Big shout out to Rosy and Kelv from Pacific Grace (you know you are old when you're former youth group kids are graduating from univeristy). Thanks for the baby that cried in the third service and let me attempt a "shigematsu" as I call it. Gonna have to come to tenth to find out what that means. Seriously though, so much respect for all my pastors at Tenth. 4 sermons in one day- amazing. Really sinks in when you listen to all 4 sermons too. I recommend that to all. Just try it once, go to all 4 services, I guarantee you will get something different from each one.
If you missed it, its online if you want to check it out:
http://www.tenth.ca/media.php?pageID=29
and if you rather just read: here is what I shared.
It was about a year ago when I started feeling sick and the doctors couldn’t figure out why. They decided to cut me open for some exploratory surgery. When they did, they found a tumor and removed it. Following that, I waited for two weeks for a CT scan and results. The word cancer is usually associated with panic and fear. And that is exactly what happened. I ran through every worse case scenario in my head. Everytime I looked at my 3 year old daughter, Rhys, I choked up at the thought of not being around for her. I laid beside my wife, June at night and wondered about her future. This fear and panic lasted one week. That’s all it took for God to get a message through my thick skull. I’ve known God almost my whole life and realized that my relationship to him was strictly, boss/worker or teacher/student. For the first time, I entered a father/son relationship with him. He was there holding me and my family in his hands at a time when we didn’t know what to do.
When I shared the news with my small group- I told them how I felt a bit of shame and guilt for clinging to God in this time of need. One of the mothers said to me: You know when our children are sick and they come to us for comfort, we don’t push them away and say, “you didn’t listen to me yesterday or you didn’t eat your vegetables at dinner”, we still love them and hold them- that’s what God will do for you. Ken put it best in a sermon a few months ago. When we are faced with losing what is most important to us- it opens the door to draw closer to God. And through cancer, I had drawn closer to God
Through my daily prayer and devotion, God threw scripture after scripture at me for comfort, one of the first verses he revealed to me was Matt. 11:28
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
By the time the day of results came, I felt peace. Now I am generally not a peaceful guy. I am kinda neurotic, paranoid, uptight and a bit of a spaz- yup my wife is a lucky woman. I am the guy that checks the stove constantly before he leaves the house- I go back and check the door knob after getting into my car to make sure the house is locked. I am that guy. But there was none of that.
When the doctor told us that the cancer was gone and seemed to be contained in the tumor that was removed- I felt great but it wasn’t a rushing, overwhelming sensation of relief associated with that kind of news. Just peace knowing that everything was in God’s hands. The doctors said they would keep scanning me frequently for the next few years in case it comes back.
6 weeks later, on my very next checkup- the doctor told me that the cancer was back. The panic rose again briefly and then subsided literally while I was in his office. I called June and told her the news and that I was going to go through chemotherapy. I remembered reading Lance Armstrong’s book about his battle with cancer and a line from his doctor explaining his chemotherapy treatment-he said, “I am going to kill you everyday and then bring you back” that’s how we are going to beat this.
The side effects from my treatment was suppose to be massive nausea, fatigue and nerve damage. June was more scared about the chemo than the cancer. But I had so much support from family and friends- many from this congregation. Ken and his whole staff here at tenth was praying for me. It didn’t feel like we were facing this alone.
I went through 4 consecutive rounds of chemo. Out of 90 days in treatment, I had maybe 4 bad days, my biggest side effect for a while was hiccups. The doctors and nurses in the ward kept saying I was handling the chemo better than anyone they had ever seen.
During the treatment, a few other things began to happen. I started a daily blog to update people on my status- my co workers and friends read it and it opened up all these conversations about my faith and God. I began sharing my faith and praying for random cancer patients in the ward. They were stuck in there with me for 3 hours a day so they were forced to listen me. Hard to tell the cancer patient to shut up.
My family became my rock, I saw my younger brother become the man of the house in my sickness and our relationship became stronger than ever. I saw my mom and dad put on a brave face everyday even though her child was sick and she knew she couldn’t do anything about it besides pray . My sister was there for whatever we needed, no matter what it was. Friends came from all over the city to drive me to chemo and sit there with me.
Through it all, God continue to hold us in his arms. June and I would be up late at night talking and I would ask her, are you ok, no really are you ok, like really ok, would you tell me if you were not, Then I would accuse her of being too ok with the situation, and we would have a laugh about that-we were both calm and at peace…I cant explain it.
On Aug 9,this year, I was proclaimed cancer free. The doctor said it is very unlikely that the cancer will come back. I thought to myself- that’s what you said last time. But you know what- It doesn’t matter- because I know whatever happens in my life- God isn’t just with me, he is carrying me through it.
There’s a song I have known since I was 8 years old and I didn’t truly understand the power of the lyrics until now
My peace I give unto you
It’s a peace that the world cannot give
It’s a peace that the world cannot understand
Peace to know, Peace to live,
My Peace I give unto you
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Sunday October 10, 2011
I had a chance share a bit of my journey through cancer at church this morning. I am very grateful to my Pastor Ken for letting me be part of his sermon. Thank you all who came out. It meant a lot tonsee you.
I often hear a lot of complaining in my line of work. I have a three year old at home so there is a fair amount of complaining there as well. She just doesn't know she is doing it. I figured after chemo, there really isn't too much to complain about. I was wrong. And just when I began to revert back to some bad habits, God finds interesting ways to snap me back to reality. I went by the cancer clinic last week and one of my friends who's a nurse there told me of another man starting the same treatment I had. It brought back so many memories of my experience there. Writing out what I shared in church today also made me think of all that is happened this year. But the best reminder I got this week about life was found on a sign in Rhys' dance studio.
It's not about weathering the storm
It's about learning to dance in the rain
Cheesy. Maybe. But true.
I often hear a lot of complaining in my line of work. I have a three year old at home so there is a fair amount of complaining there as well. She just doesn't know she is doing it. I figured after chemo, there really isn't too much to complain about. I was wrong. And just when I began to revert back to some bad habits, God finds interesting ways to snap me back to reality. I went by the cancer clinic last week and one of my friends who's a nurse there told me of another man starting the same treatment I had. It brought back so many memories of my experience there. Writing out what I shared in church today also made me think of all that is happened this year. But the best reminder I got this week about life was found on a sign in Rhys' dance studio.
It's not about weathering the storm
It's about learning to dance in the rain
Cheesy. Maybe. But true.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Thursday, Oct 6, 2011
I will be sharing my cancer journey this Sunday, Oct 9, at my church. My church has 4 services on Sunday and I will be sharing at all of them.
9:30am- Tenth Avenue Alliance Church-11 West 10th Avenue, Vancouver
10:30am- Kitsilano Highschool-2550 W 10th Ave Vancouver
11:30am- back at Tenth Avenue Alliance-11 West 10th Avenue, Vancouver
7pm-(for all you football fans and late night saturday partiers)- Tenth Avenue Alliance Church- 11 West 10th Avenue, Vancouver
hope to see you there
If you are tired of this blog, check out my other blog- urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
9:30am- Tenth Avenue Alliance Church-11 West 10th Avenue, Vancouver
10:30am- Kitsilano Highschool-2550 W 10th Ave Vancouver
11:30am- back at Tenth Avenue Alliance-11 West 10th Avenue, Vancouver
hope to see you there
If you are tired of this blog, check out my other blog- urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Sunday Oct 2, 2011
Wow, anyone ever try to catch up on 9 months worth of emails. I don't recommend it. Yes, back at work. I have to admit, I am loving being back. There is a slight chance that when I do pass away, they may do an autopsy and find coke zero or vitamin water running through my veins. Just glad to be healthy and working. There is a lot of work to do but I have a great team and looking forward to finishing the year off strong.
Preschool update- well, its been 3 weeks and Rhys is still crying a lot before June drives her to school. Then she gets pried away from June's leg and over to the teacher. 15 seconds later, no more crying. It's strange but apparently normal. I picked her up once and she was just sitting there laughing on her cubby hole with all her friends. Yeah, June has the tough part because she is driving her to, and picking her up from preschool. Hopefully, the crying will end soon. She was a flower girl yesterday at my friend Andy's wedding. Only time I will ever allow another boy to hold her hand. He was 4 years old.
I may be sharing my cancer story this coming Sunday at church. More info to come. Hope some of you can make it out for that. You guys have been with me through out this whole journey. Might as well continue on with the ride.
Big congrats to some friends who just had babies:
Stevo and Kristine- welcome baby Bennet(t)
Chuck and Myra- welcome baby Elliot, or lil E as I will call him
Natalie and Tony- welcome baby Vincenzo
Jim and Lisa- welcome baby Kaylee
such cool names...very nice ( would be nice if all there middle names were gil, named after their uncle that is gonna spoil them rotten when they get older)
peace
if you are tired of this blog...checkout my other blog
urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
Preschool update- well, its been 3 weeks and Rhys is still crying a lot before June drives her to school. Then she gets pried away from June's leg and over to the teacher. 15 seconds later, no more crying. It's strange but apparently normal. I picked her up once and she was just sitting there laughing on her cubby hole with all her friends. Yeah, June has the tough part because she is driving her to, and picking her up from preschool. Hopefully, the crying will end soon. She was a flower girl yesterday at my friend Andy's wedding. Only time I will ever allow another boy to hold her hand. He was 4 years old.
I may be sharing my cancer story this coming Sunday at church. More info to come. Hope some of you can make it out for that. You guys have been with me through out this whole journey. Might as well continue on with the ride.
Big congrats to some friends who just had babies:
Stevo and Kristine- welcome baby Bennet(t)
Chuck and Myra- welcome baby Elliot, or lil E as I will call him
Natalie and Tony- welcome baby Vincenzo
Jim and Lisa- welcome baby Kaylee
such cool names...very nice ( would be nice if all there middle names were gil, named after their uncle that is gonna spoil them rotten when they get older)
peace
if you are tired of this blog...checkout my other blog
urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
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