May 26th 2013- Final CT scan results

Well- final ct scan clear.  doc says that this is the last one. only blood tests from now on and less than 1% chance of anything reoccuring.  The last 2 years have been quite a journey.  Thank you all who have been there beside me the entire way.  All the prayers, well wishes and support.  It would have been hard to imagine getting through it without all of you.  All the cliches are true.  It is times of trial and darkness that you truly appreciate what you have and puts life into perspective.  I know that religion or faith is different for every person.  My faith in God got me through a pretty tough time and my prayer is that he is there for every one of my friends who read this blog.  Onward to a 90 day fitness challenge to try and change my lifestyle for the better.  It may be grumpy gil for a while.  grumpy because of junk food withdrawal .  Speaking of life perspective, the view from my 4year old daughter is always a good one.  I also wanted to share a conversation I had with my daughter on the plane ride to disneyland a few weeks ago:

Me:  Rhys, look out the window, the plane is taking off

Rhys: wow, how come its getting all white and foggy

Me:  We are flying higher and higher, we are in the clouds

Rhys:  Are we going to see Jesus?

Me:  One day, hopefully not today, ok?

Rhys:  Ok dada, are we at disneyland yet?

May 16, 2013

I mentioned the other day to a friend that I don't blog anymore because I was beginning to feel like facebook and for those of you who know me, know I am not a fan of knowing what everyone is doing all the time. My friend made a point that the blog was mostly to remind myself of what happens so that made a lot of sense. I am sitting at the cancer clinic again for what might be my last ct scan. Its been 2 years since I finished treatment and this last scan will close the book on this chapter of my life. Very exciting. As usual I will have to wait a week for the results . Much has happened since my last post. June and I got a chance to take rhys to disneyland. That was amazing. As a parent there isnt much more joy you can experience than when your child sees cinderalla for the first time and the look on her face is priceless. Anyways. Will update as soon as I get results and then I think a party is in order.

Dec 2012

One more clear cancer checkup in the books.  There was no scan this time.  I haven't had a scan since May.  They don't too much radiation from the CT scans.  Just bloodwork and x-ray.  All clear.  I wonder if cancer survivors get antsy if they don't get a scan.  My doc said they will do a scan in Feb.  Which is the 2 year anniversary of my diagnosis and treatment.  Time flies, can't believe it's almost - Christmas.  This has been a crazy year- not quite as crazy as last year but still.  I am more appreciative of family and friends than ever before.  I am loving being a soccer dad.  I am praying for more and more people every day with loved ones that have cancer- it's scary.  but like i always tell the people at work- let's control the controllables and don't worry about things you do not have any control over.  I gotta look back at last years post and see if i accomplished any of the things i set out do this year. We will have to see.  wishing everyone a safe and merry holidays- hope to see all of you soon- thanks to all who donated to movember- the stache was just as bad if not worse- i will post some pics on my next blog.  peace

November 11, 2012

Today is Remembrance day.  Its early in the morning and I am preparing a small talk for the elderly care home we are visiting this afternoon.  June, Rhys and I, along with some other members of Tenth Church go to an elderly care home every other month and lead a church service there.  In preparing my talk, I am reminded that remembering is something that seems tougher as I grow older.  One of the reasons I kept this blog was so that there would be a record of me long after I am gone.  It's been over a year since the cancer is gone.  I have another checkup at the end of the month.  I realize that no matter how long its been- cancer is one thing that I will not have any trouble remembering.  A lot has happened since my last post.  We have finally moved into our new place.  A small townhouse in Steveston.  Rhys has joined a soccer team.  I am the proudest day watching her run around chasing that ball.  Yes, I realize I am turning into Will Ferrel from Kicking and Screaming- can't wait to be coach.  Rhys has also learned how to ride a bike without training wheels.  Crazy times that pass so fast.

I also had the chance to do a 2 day road trip with my dad and my brother- we drove down to portland a few saturdays ago to surprise my uncle on his 70th birthday.  It was an amazing trip.  It made me realize that life is too short (if i didn't already know that) and its not about what you have- but its about the experiences you had and who you had them with.  My brother always talks about being intentional in things we do.  It's true- the quantity of team sometimes lies in the quality.

I found this poem on the internet as I was preparing my talk.  It made me tear up just reading it.  This girl could be Rhys, could still be- who knows.  But if RHys can understand one day that heaven isn't too far away- just like this girl did, then I believe June and I have done our job as parents.

Remembrance Day Poem called 'Daddy's Poem'

author unknown 

Daddy's Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.

'Where's her daddy at?'
She heard a boy call out.
'She probably doesn't have one,'
another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
'Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day.'

The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.

'My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's al ways with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart'

With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.

'I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Canadian soldier
And died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
and taught Canadians to fear. 

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away.'
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.

And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.

'I know you're with me Daddy,'
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed  rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.

Take the time...to live and love.
Until eternity. God bless!

Lest We Forget!

Oct 1,2012

I started to go to church when I was 2 years old.  I basically grew up in the church.  When I was about 12 years old, my church took a break from sunday school every summer.  Instead we would get to join all the older kids for a summer video series.  Back then, watching videos sure was better than being in a classroom.  But I was young and dumb at the time(as opposed to being old and dumb now) and those videos bored me too.  I remember the video that changed my entire outlook on Christian speakers and pastors.  We watch this one video where this guy was yelling and spitting and he was so funny.  It was like watching a comedian and through all the laughter, the message of Christ's love still made it into my brain.  This guy had a way of relating life and humor and what it meant to live a life where you put your trust in Jesus.  That was over 20 years ago.  His name was Tony Campolo.  He is speaking at my church this sunday.  I can't believe it.  I am inviting everyone in blogworld to my church this sunday to hear Tony speak.  He is speaking on behalf of world vision.  June and I support this organization and we sponsor 2 children:   Pelince and Vibol. I know it's thanksgiving sunday and its football and long weekend but come on out, my church has 3 services, 9:15, 11:15 and 6:30 at night.  Hope to see you there.

Sept 23, 2012

I think it's time to share the real reason why I have almost stopped blogging. I can blame it on the busyness of life or many other factors but I know the real reason. And when I say it, it will probably make a few people upset and that is not my intention. This blog started as a way to communicate my battle with cancer with people I knew. Then it morphed into a way of getting my thoughts and beliefs out there in a very non threatening  manner . But the reason I stopped was because i was afraid my blog was turning into a news feed in Facebook. Now I don't have Facebook but I made the mistake of creepin June's. And I was shocked. I could not believe how many people post such weird and obscure things on there. I was hooked and read page after page getting more and more disgusted  the more I read. But I realized that I was reading it so obviously it meant something .  Anyways this isn't a rant but I didn't want people to read my blog and say. Who cares. Which was what I did when I read the news feed.  Anyways. I have come to terms of it and I am still not on Facebook but I want to keep blogging because I want this to be a record of my life after cancer and I don't want to forget. So you won't find me checking into my basement or into my bathroom or the garage. Wait I guess I just disliked Facebook. Haha. Anyways. This week was Rhys first soccer practice. And she loved it.she was so cute in her little cleats and shin guards and uniform. I cannot wait to be will ferrell in kicking and screaming on the sideline as the proud yet overbearing father.  I am also taking a leadership course at my church and it is teaching me that in order to be a good leader- you  first must be a good follower. I have an amazing staff at work and I learn from them all the time. I am now trying to learn to follow them too.  Servant leadership.  We also moved into our new place...moving not fun but our new place is pretty sweet.  NOw to find time to enjoy.  To of my cousins getting married next year and i am going to take a road trip with my dad and brother in a few weeks.  Family first.  always.

Gil

Aug 30,2012

Well. It has been a long time since my last entry. Not because I had nothin to say but maybe because there was too much to say. Today I find myself at the cancer clinic for a routine checkup. The scans are now 6 months apart so today was just a Bloodwork and an X-ray. All things fine says the doc  see u in the new year.  The last time I checked in was my birthday. It has been a crazy summer. We did a week at anvil again and this year was tougher than most for June and I. But Rhys had a blast and many kids got to know Jesus. I am always amazed at how God works even despite my numerous attempts to mess things up.  We also just moved and that's always stressful. Well just looking forward to things slowing down a bit and I can sit back and hang out with friends in our new place.  Later.