Day 46

Ok- I have a confession to make.  I went to work today.  Yup, I said it.  I'm not going to lie.  I was alive.   Haha.  Well, I went to work to visit today.  It was good to see everyone.  Weird to be a bystander.  But still good to be in the presence of Coke.  You sometimes don't realize how much time you actually spend with you co-workers.  Acquaintances become friends, friends become life long buds.  I think I spend more time talking to some guys at work than my own wife. She don't understand!  Weird isn't it.  I talk about the Coke family and people look at me like I am nuts or a cult member.  It really is a family.  You go through so much together, the job is just byproduct.  It's about the relationships and experiences you have along the way.  Still remember Kary and Tony training me as a rookie(red, black, silver, green, red, black, silver, green).  That seemed like yesterday when the short chubby asian kid didn't know to put the can of coke zero between the can of coke and diet coke.  Back then, I just wanted to drink the can of coke, not care where it went.  Nowadays I can spot a can out of place 100 feet away in a food court cooler.  Yup- working for coke is a disease- one in which there is no cure.  pepsi who?

Day 45

Due to my rough days, Rhys had to spend the last few days at mother's house.  When I went there today, she looked sad and said, "I don't like you."  I was devastated.  It's only been a few days- had she forgotten me already? When she finally realized that I wasn't there to take her away from grandma's she said, "I miss you dadda.  I love you." (Yes, apparently grandma's house is THAT much fun).  Sometimes I feel like I have the memory of a child.  I re-read some of my old blogs the other day.  I was surprised at some of the things that I wrote.  Maybe that's why it was important to keep a record.  I find myself having some short term memory loss of certain things.  Today as I prayed for my family and friends and various cancer patients, I found myself asking God about the future.  What does it hold for me?  I found the answer in the bible.  Where God told Joshua that he will be faithful and do what he said he would do.


⁵ No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Joshua 1:5

I took those words to heart.  More than anything, I want this experience that I have gone through to mean something.  To mean more than just a guy who got cancer and got cured.  I want it to mean that while I  was being cured, I renewed a relationship with a God who loves me and my family and my friends.  A God that I want to share with others that do not know him.  Deep down inside, June and I are preparing for a storm brewing in our lives.  A storm where other loved ones of ours will encounter hardship, disease, pain and suffering.  We want to be there and offer the support that we have gotten. A peace that transcends all understanding and logic.

Since I found out I had cancer- I have thought of death twice.  The first time was the sheer panic of the news, and death was a natural thought.  The second time was today- when I thought about my death, being a far and long way from now.  I have a lot more work to do.


I have been reading this book on awesome:  silly things, wanted to share some that brought a smile to my face.

little things we overlook, but are awesome;

1. flipping the pillow to the cool side in the middle of the night
2. when babies high five you or give you a pound
3. being the first table called at a wedding buffet

Day 44 (Monday- Day 8 Round 3)

Last year around this time, June and I were enjoying the spoils of a work incentive I had won through Coke.  We had taken our talents to  South Beach, Miami- enjoying a Raptors road trip and checking out tennis at the Sony Ericsson open.  Hanging out with our bud Esther.   What a difference a year makes.

Last year I was enjoying life and this year, I appreciate life.  Similar but not the same.  Well this has been a tougher Monday but tomorrow is another day.  I know many people are praying for my recovery in this round.  Many thanks.  Slowly but surely... the toxins will leave the body.

Day 43 (Round 3 Day 5- and the weekend)

Ah the weekend.  Something most people look forward too.  Not so in my case.  But Friday was fine and so far Saturday has been ok.  The nurses said I should load up on the optional nausea meds.  To help with the drop off of the 5 days chemo.  So I did today- no hero stuff of trying to avoid pills.  Just gotta get through Sunday and hope things get back to normal on Monday like they did Round 1 and 2.  Here's to getting through the weekend!  I am always trying to figure out words to describe day 6 and 7.  I've been told: Vague, or Droopy- just an out of body experience where you just don't feel quite right.  Oh well, I got one more round to find the right description for this most peculiar feeling.

Day 42 (Round 3- Day 4)

Thursday done, Friday today- still feeling good.  I heard a nurse say to a patient the other day as he was done his last chemo treatment.  She said, "It was nice to meet you, I hope I never see you [in here] again!"  Probably one of the nicest things I have heard in that chemo ward. I can't wait till they say that to me!   Probably one of the few situations where you can get away with saying something like that.

I finish up day 5 today.  Then there is day 8 and 15 and round 3 will be done.  I consider the end of this weekend the end of round 3.  Day 8 and 15  are usually fine.  It is this weekend that I am weakest.  But round 3 hasn't felt much different- perhaps a little more fatigue and maybe I am used to the little bouts of nausea and the hiccups now.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  The end of round 4. 

When I started chemotherapy, I began making a list of people on my blackberry of every person I met during chemo treatment.  Their family and friends that came as support people.  Also the doctors and nurses that have been treating me.  The list is pretty long now.  I pray for them almost daily- for healing and peace.  I know some of them are praying for me in their own religion and faith.  This cancer community is huge.  Everytime I walk through that 6th floor building, it doesn't matter who you share an elevator with- everyone is there to fight.  Fight on their own behalf or working to fight for someone else.  Fighting for someone they may not even know.  Someone who doesn't even have cancer yet, but will one day benefit from their research and hard work.  The nurses keep telling me that the protocol that I am in right now, was changed for the better merely 6 months ago.  Meaning if I was going through chemo earlier, I would be having a way worse time.  Timing is everything and everything happens for a reason.  I truly believe that, more than ever now. 

Thank you Sandra and James for The Book of Awesome- looks like an interesting read!


gil

Day 41

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...

Mmm...breakfast of champions.

Rhysotron and the Aldenator

The best day of Aaron's life.(so far)

Dora, Boots,  my mom and Rhys-chillin on the new couch.














June takes her camera everywhere and it's amazing the moments she captures.  Rhys sits on my lap and we go through them and she names all her friends and her aunties and uncles.  Father/daughter bonding at its best.  She will also point out pics where I used to have hair and ask what happened daddy?  I wonder where she gets her sarcasm from?

Day 40

Maybe it's because I am officially past the halfway mark.  In fact, tomorrow is wed, which will put me over the halfway mark of round 3.  I am looking at putting this week in the books asap and then it's on to the last cycle.  So today in chemo, I began to daydream.  Let me take you for a walk in the twisted mind of Gil.

My daydream started off with what Coke accounts I was going to win back when I get back to work.  When I went to the Langley Event Center, I was very impressed with what my team had done there.  I started thinking about changes at work and how to carry out efficiencies and bring up the market share on my side of the business. (Now while my boss and partner in crime at work might smirk at this daydream- the rest of you just think I'm nuts...please read on)

After the coke fantasy, my mind started wandering about what kind of foods I would eat after the treatment is over and I am given a clean bill of health.  Maybe that double filet at Macdonalds.  A ribeye steak at Outback Steakhouse.  Any kind of fried chicken I could get my hands on.  Not to mention hanging out with so many of you guys out there- whilst eating all this food.  (It's touring season, Justin Cho! You wit me?  You too Dave- Shanghai Breakfast, Noon and Dinner!)

After food, it was onto experiences.  Maybe New York in the fall with June.  Perhaps bring Rhys to Disneyland.  Go work for Coke in London 2012 ( Paul- please put in a good word with Wayne for me).

Then the daydream/fantasy became a reality check.  I have been blessed in this journey.  Blessed to have strengthened my relationships with family and friends.  Blessed to be able to tell everyone that I am handling this ordeal so well because of having a personal relationship with my saviour, Jesus Christ.  I am closer to June than ever before.  I love Rhys even more than I thought was humanly possible for a father to love their child.  Yet realizing that God loves me even more than that and he shows me that every day.  I began to think about how I am going to get involved in this fight against cancer.  Volunteering my time and resources to the cause.  Sharing my story and comfort to others around me that are or will be encountering this disease.

As you all know, I am a man that thrives under pressure and loves to multi-task.  As I take this time off to fight the cancer, I am also taking time off to rest my body and mind and soul.  I plan to come back leaner, faster, smarter (I know that may be a stretch), and braver.  My new perspective on life will allow to me make a bigger difference-  a bigger difference at work, at home, and in society.  I learned a few days ago that Coke donated over 7 million dollars US to the Japan Relief fund.  It made me proud to work for the company that his been so supportive in my time of need.  Everyone that has stepped in to do my job- to an understanding boss that wants me back-only when I'm ready.

I learned today in my bible devotion that God is bigger than I could ever hope or dream. So it's ok to dream big.  But I started small.  I have met dozens of fellow cancer patients and when I see them again, I tell them that they have been in my prayers.  I sometimes pray for them right there in the room.  I see that it brings some of their spirits up...small steps...will lead to bigger ones.