June 18, 2011

I am beginning to outline certain events and landmarks in my life, post-cancer.  They seem to be more meaningful to me now.  Not that these events weren't important before but I definitely feel like I may have taken some things for granted in the past.  Since I finished my treatment, I have:

1.  attended my first wedding (laura and rays)

2. got my first haircut (thank you mrs wong)

3.  attended friend's kids birthday

4.  eaten a steak (thank you again laura and ray)

5.  rode my bike on the dyke

6.  watched a movie in a theatre

7.  my first father's day

things I may have taken for granted before...no more

June 12, 2011

When I first got diagnosed with cancer, I remember my mindset toward the future.  There was obviously a lot of hope mixed with occasional despair and doubt. Andis would say to me all the time, "you gonna be alright, you know that, right."  A lot of people encouraged me in many different ways, telling me how I was going to beat this and be back to normal soon.  But I remember being at the mall and looking at a shirt.  It was a nice shirt, and on sale.  I picked it off the rack and began to walk to the register, but then I stopped.  Even with all the confidence in my doctors, the treatment, and God, there was still doubt.  I thought to myself, should you really be investing in something that you might not be around to enjoy?  I know it sounds silly but those are the thoughts that went through my mind from time to time.  Don't waste your money on material things that you may not be able to enjoy if you are dead.  Funny how the human mind plays tricks with your soul.

A few weeks into my treatment, I got a wedding invitation in the mail. It was from our friends Laura and Ray.  I remember reading the invite and looking at the date.  June 11, 2011. My initial thought was, wow, that is months down the road, who knows what will happen in 3 months.  Would I be too sick to attend?  Would I be dead?  But then I realized how stupid that sounded.  This invitation was their way of encouraging me.  They were inviting me because they were contending that in a few months, I would be ok, and would be able to attend.   Sending back to rsvp via email was my way of reaffirming myself and where I would be in a few months.

So yesterday, at the wedding(which was an amazing, beautiful wedding)  I was overwhelmed with joy firstly because I was seeing 2 amazing friends, in love, getting married, and secondly because in a way, it felt like an accomplishment for me to attend.  I want to thank them for their encouragement months ago.  Who knew a wedding invite would mean so much.  So instead of being wheeled in on a wheelchair as I thought I would be a few months ago.  I was busting a groove on the dance floor with June.  God has used so many people and so many ways to continue to encourage me and show me his goodness, in sickness and in health.

You know you are old when 2 things happen at a wedding:

1.   a song comes on and you go, Yes, this is my jam- and all the young people leave the dance floor and go back to their seats

2.  you think you have been partying all night long and you are exhausted and just want to go home and sleep and you look at the time and its 9:34 pm

Congratulations Ray and Laura!

I bought a t shirt the other day.  I plan to wear it a lot.  It is a canuck shirt...GO CANUCKS GO!

June 11, 2011

It's 2:00am. I am sitting in he rocking chair in Rhys' room because she has woken up and won't go back to sleep. Seems like a chore right, to sit here for hours waiting for your child to fall asleep. I mean, how much angry birds and words with friends can one play? For some reason, I never get tired of this. This is our father daughter time. I read or pray or play on my iPhone and she sleeps peacefully knowing her father is right there. Most of the time, I fall asleep before she does. Everyone keeps telling me that I should cherish this time because it won't happen again. Seeing as I am not expecting to get cancer again. I tend to agree. Watching her grow up before my eyes these last few months has reaffirmed that June was right about not working during the day so she could be a part of her development at this age.

Just a quick medical update. I am still feeling fine. Just get tired very quickly and fingers are constantly numb. The Canucks aren't helping to keep my stress levels down that's for sure. I thought about praying for a win but I remember what my pastor said a few weeks ago. God usually sides with the better team. Which is still the Canucks so we should be good. One more win- I can't believe it. Anyways. Hope to see all of you soon. Anyone who is interested in volunteering up at anvil please email me at gilyeung@live.com.

Later, Gil

June 3, 2011

It's amazing how fast life goes back to normal.  Well almost normal.  Most adults don't take daily naps (except you, Will).  The aches and pains are supposed to go away.  After a while, I wonder if I will just forget about them because I am used to it.  Then the doctor called yesterday, to see how I was doing.  It's funny how the heart skips a beat when I see the BC Cancer Clinic show up on the caller ID.  Everyday Rhys asks me if my hair is growing back and if I am FUZZY DADDY.   Yes, the hair is growing back and I have my sights set on a Bradley Cooper-type look soon.

I always wonder if I am going to subconsciously put the past behind me.  Lately, God has reminded me through others around me that you can move forward and still look back.