I got another birthday present the other day, from June. It was late because it came via mail. She took my blog and turned it into a book. I was blown away. Now I have a tangible, actual book outlining my journey the last few months. As I read through my thoughts and musings, I began to realize a few things. Firstly, my grammar skills are horrible. Secondly, the whole cancer experience still seems like a blur to me. As I slowly get back to 100% , I am excited about getting back to work. I relish the opportunity to share my story with anyone who will listen. In sharing my story, the cancer and disease plays only a small part. The bigger part of the story was how my faith got me through a rough patch in my life. And how my family and friends played a huge part in my fight and recovery. I now reflect on how I treasure times spent with family and friends. Different than before. I read a lot about how cancer survivors develop these little quirks. Every ache or pain in the body brings back rushing sensations of dread. Is the cancer back, is that a tumor? I feel Arnold Schwartzenegger(ic) yelling "ITS NOT A TUMOR" like in Kindergarten Cop. I told myself not to think like that but the human brain doesn't always work the way you want it to. I have another blood test and CT scan in August. Getting a clean bill of health on Aug 25th will allow me to go back to work and normal life in September.
I've been told about many people that have started their own battle with cancer recently. It may not always be cancer but we are always battling something. Each of us have our own demons we face on a daily basis. It's easy to just give up or give in. Or we can fight. June and I have begun our next battle- the battle of trying to give Rhys a baby brother or sister. That's a conversation for another day in blogworld. But we ask for your prayers for that.
I read this verse and heard it in a song all on the same week. Not a coincidence
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. —Psalm 30:5
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
July 16, 2011
During my adult swimming lessons. I have to say "adult" because it makes it sound like I am training to be a lifeguard or coast guard rescue swimmer, instead of just your run of the mill, sheltered asian kid with a flutter board and water wings. My instructor, keeps telling me that I am too tense. That's why I sink. Relax. Too tense. I wonder if I am like that in life. Am I too high strung and stressed? Does the same thing that causes you to sink in water be the same in life. Now I think I am pretty relaxed nowadays. Can I relax even more in my attitude toward life and it's stressors? Will that cause me to float or handle life better? I am attending a camp meeting tomorrow where I am suppose to bring an object that best describes me. I have been thinking about it for days and I got nothing. What object is festively plump yet ruggedly handsome? haha, I welcome all suggestions. And some of you have been wondering about the state of my hair. Check it out:
ok the dresser kind of screws up the pic. But the hair is there. This is after 2 haircuts where I got the sides and back trimmed. wait let me get a top view:
That's better. Everyone keeps rubbing my head and tells me it is so soft. Please wash your hands, thanks.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
July 14, 2011
Got my results today. Everything looks normal. One of the enzymes they test was elevated but the doctors are not worried as the elevated readings may be a result of this skin infection I am currently battling. As a precaution, they are going to a do a CT scan at the end of august instead of sept. Just a month early. The doctors assured me that it is not a concern and I am on pace to return to work at the end of August. So overall good news and let's hope this infection clears soon. Cancer-free, 2 months and counting. Thanks again for everyone's prayers and thoughts.
Gil
Gil
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Wed, July 13, 2011
I get another check up tomorrow. Suppose to be a "routine" check up. I don't really think thats possible. Deep down inside, there is always a part of you that wonders if it might come back. Have tried not to think about it it. Again, its is something that is beyond my control. What I am currently fighting is a viral skin infection that isn't making me feel too great.
I feel like God is trying to teach me a lesson in contentment. Being happy and grateful for what I have. Hebrews 13:5 come to mind:
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you
When you are sick, you think about all the things you are grateful for that you may have taken for granted in the past. When you are well again, things get forgotten and you begin to take things for granted again. There seem to be a lot of reminders around me that help me remember the last few months. Even as I am typing this blog, I have to pause every few minutes because the numbness in my fingers makes it hard to type. My doctors have told me its normal. Apparently there was a lot of platinum in the chemo drugs and I have a lot of nerve damage. Nerve damage takes time to heal, a lot of time.
I learned the other day about a few other people I know that have just been diagnosed with cancer and are beginning their battle. They are in my prayers and thoughts every day. That was just me a few months ago. I don't think I will forget my battle any time soon.
I am off on a tangent. Back to my original point. Contentment. I have been staring at the Ipad2 that June gave me for a week now. It's still in the packaging...should I open it or trade up to 32gigs. Ah the story of my life. I spend so much time upgrading or thinking about price per litres or grams, I rarely stop to think about whether I need all that extra_________, whatever it may be. How much is enough? Will I be happier or more fulfilled if I had a bigger place? Better car? Taller? haha. Hmmm.
On a lighter note. In the whole "new lease on life" persona, I have begun my adult swimming lessons. First lesson last Thursday. I walked into the pool and about 10 kids the age of Rhys looked at me as they jumped off the side of the pool and swam to their instructors and parents. The whole place froze and looked at us when we walked in. The lady that checked us in looked at our faces and said, "don't worry, its just gonna be you 4 and the instructor, these kids are done in a few minutes." What a relief. Who wants to be shown up by a 3 year old. So my problem lies in breathing and kicking. I watched the Guardian the other day with Chris to sike myself up. I am ready for tomorrows lesson. I WILL learn to swim. Does anyone have adult water wings they want to lend me? Ashton Kucher is the man!
I feel like God is trying to teach me a lesson in contentment. Being happy and grateful for what I have. Hebrews 13:5 come to mind:
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you
When you are sick, you think about all the things you are grateful for that you may have taken for granted in the past. When you are well again, things get forgotten and you begin to take things for granted again. There seem to be a lot of reminders around me that help me remember the last few months. Even as I am typing this blog, I have to pause every few minutes because the numbness in my fingers makes it hard to type. My doctors have told me its normal. Apparently there was a lot of platinum in the chemo drugs and I have a lot of nerve damage. Nerve damage takes time to heal, a lot of time.
I learned the other day about a few other people I know that have just been diagnosed with cancer and are beginning their battle. They are in my prayers and thoughts every day. That was just me a few months ago. I don't think I will forget my battle any time soon.
I am off on a tangent. Back to my original point. Contentment. I have been staring at the Ipad2 that June gave me for a week now. It's still in the packaging...should I open it or trade up to 32gigs. Ah the story of my life. I spend so much time upgrading or thinking about price per litres or grams, I rarely stop to think about whether I need all that extra_________, whatever it may be. How much is enough? Will I be happier or more fulfilled if I had a bigger place? Better car? Taller? haha. Hmmm.
On a lighter note. In the whole "new lease on life" persona, I have begun my adult swimming lessons. First lesson last Thursday. I walked into the pool and about 10 kids the age of Rhys looked at me as they jumped off the side of the pool and swam to their instructors and parents. The whole place froze and looked at us when we walked in. The lady that checked us in looked at our faces and said, "don't worry, its just gonna be you 4 and the instructor, these kids are done in a few minutes." What a relief. Who wants to be shown up by a 3 year old. So my problem lies in breathing and kicking. I watched the Guardian the other day with Chris to sike myself up. I am ready for tomorrows lesson. I WILL learn to swim. Does anyone have adult water wings they want to lend me? Ashton Kucher is the man!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
July 6, 2011
My 35th birthday. There was a time a few months ago where it briefly crossed my mind if I was going to make it to this day. I know it sounds silly but for all the positive attitude I had during chemo, there were moments of weakness. But it was but a moment and it passed. I am now cancer free. I have my next appointment on July 14. It will be blood work and an x-ray. I try not to dwell on these appointments. No sense in worrying about something I have no control over. Back to my birthday. I always make it a point to congratulate my mother on my birthday. I see it as its her day as well as mine, if not more so- after all, she did all the work that day, I just layed there and was born. In the past I never wanted to make a big deal for my birthday. No fanfare, no hoopla. Just spend it with family or close friends and a few times just by myself. This year, I decided to try something different. If you google, free stuff for your birthday, you can find all sorts of places that give you free stuff on that day. So let me tell you how its gone so far:
7:00am- woke up or rhys woke me up- unwrapped the gift that june bought me, IPAD 2- I love my wife (not because of the Ipad but I can see how that came across)
8:00am- I am at Denny's with my brother and sister enjoying my free Slam breakfast. Well dan had to pay but mine was free- while we waited, dan busted out 2 lego transformer sets and we raced to see who could put it together faster- I smoked him of course (it would have been different if it was a GO-bot lego, I'm sure)
11:00am - doctor appointment
12:30am- free fish and chips at Pajo's in steveston- I am shameless. Walked right up to the counter and declared, "Hi, I am here for my free birthday meal!" 2 piece Halibut fish and chips, nice( yes I threw the free pepsi drink in the trash and brought my own smartwater)
1:15- free starbucks drink- the cashier said I needed a birthday postcard. I said its a postal strike. The manager agreed with me- VENTI, iced, soy green tea latte, unsweetened
2:52- on my way to the mall, RW and co to use my 25% discount today
thats it for now, part 2 of my day may include- boston pizza (free pizza), mr sub (free sandwich), boathouse (free dessert), or dairy queen, buy one get one blizzard- although june will have to eat all the sweet stuff because I can't...
peace out
7:00am- woke up or rhys woke me up- unwrapped the gift that june bought me, IPAD 2- I love my wife (not because of the Ipad but I can see how that came across)
8:00am- I am at Denny's with my brother and sister enjoying my free Slam breakfast. Well dan had to pay but mine was free- while we waited, dan busted out 2 lego transformer sets and we raced to see who could put it together faster- I smoked him of course (it would have been different if it was a GO-bot lego, I'm sure)
11:00am - doctor appointment
12:30am- free fish and chips at Pajo's in steveston- I am shameless. Walked right up to the counter and declared, "Hi, I am here for my free birthday meal!" 2 piece Halibut fish and chips, nice( yes I threw the free pepsi drink in the trash and brought my own smartwater)
1:15- free starbucks drink- the cashier said I needed a birthday postcard. I said its a postal strike. The manager agreed with me- VENTI, iced, soy green tea latte, unsweetened
2:52- on my way to the mall, RW and co to use my 25% discount today
thats it for now, part 2 of my day may include- boston pizza (free pizza), mr sub (free sandwich), boathouse (free dessert), or dairy queen, buy one get one blizzard- although june will have to eat all the sweet stuff because I can't...
peace out
Saturday, July 2, 2011
July 2, 2011
It's been a while. Getting stronger as the days go by. Sleeping less and feeling better. Everything but the numbness in the hands. Very annoying. Apparently normal and will go away in a few months. Took Rhys to her first Canada day celebration. Steveston Salmon festival and parade downtown. What a day. That was yesterday.
Today was a new day. Saw my cousins off back to England in the morning. Always good times when family gets together. And the british accent is so suave and cool. June and I then went for a bike ride on the dyke to steveston. You know what's a pretty good shot at your manhood- when your wife is towing the trailer with your daughter and you are not and everyone looks at you when they ride by. Ah well- last time I went with the manhood deal and towed her- I suffered for 3 days afterwards. Waiting for that "I had cancer- not just a wimpy dad" t- shirt in the mail. Stupid postal strike. haha
I was reminded again recently about how precious life is- listening the to Jim Rome show. He had on a pro golfer named Erik Compton. This guy had 2 heart transplants and had a heart attack with one of them and still survived. He said a lot of stuff on the show that brought back some memories of my treatment. He said he doesn't complain about things anymore. He felt like it was his time, twice, and yet he survived. Living on borrowed time he called it. He lives each day like it's his last. Enjoying every moment for all its worth. Pretty inspirational. I think I still complain sometimes- gonna try and cut that out. Hope everyone is doing well. If I haven't seen you yet- please call and we can arrange something. Peace out...
Today was a new day. Saw my cousins off back to England in the morning. Always good times when family gets together. And the british accent is so suave and cool. June and I then went for a bike ride on the dyke to steveston. You know what's a pretty good shot at your manhood- when your wife is towing the trailer with your daughter and you are not and everyone looks at you when they ride by. Ah well- last time I went with the manhood deal and towed her- I suffered for 3 days afterwards. Waiting for that "I had cancer- not just a wimpy dad" t- shirt in the mail. Stupid postal strike. haha
I was reminded again recently about how precious life is- listening the to Jim Rome show. He had on a pro golfer named Erik Compton. This guy had 2 heart transplants and had a heart attack with one of them and still survived. He said a lot of stuff on the show that brought back some memories of my treatment. He said he doesn't complain about things anymore. He felt like it was his time, twice, and yet he survived. Living on borrowed time he called it. He lives each day like it's his last. Enjoying every moment for all its worth. Pretty inspirational. I think I still complain sometimes- gonna try and cut that out. Hope everyone is doing well. If I haven't seen you yet- please call and we can arrange something. Peace out...
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