Wed, July 13, 2011

I get another check up tomorrow.  Suppose to be a "routine" check up.  I don't really think thats possible.  Deep down inside, there is always a part of you that wonders if it might come back.  Have tried not to think about it it.  Again, its is something that is beyond my control.  What I am currently fighting is a viral skin infection that isn't making me feel too great. 

I feel like God is trying to teach me a lesson in contentment.  Being happy and grateful for what I have.  Hebrews 13:5 come to mind:

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
   “Never will I leave you;
   never will I forsake you

When you are sick, you think about all the things you are grateful for that you may have taken for granted in the past.  When you are well again, things get forgotten and you begin to take things for granted again.  There seem to be a lot of reminders around me that help me remember the last few months.  Even as I am typing this blog, I have to pause every few minutes because the numbness in my fingers makes it hard to type.  My doctors have told me its normal.  Apparently there was a lot of platinum in the chemo drugs and I have a lot of nerve damage.  Nerve damage takes time to heal, a lot of time.

I learned the other day about a few other people I know that have just been diagnosed with cancer and are beginning their battle.  They are in my prayers and thoughts every day.  That was just me a few months ago.  I don't think I will forget my battle any time soon.

I am off on a tangent.  Back to my original point.  Contentment.  I have been staring at the Ipad2 that June gave me for a week now.  It's still in the packaging...should I open it or trade up to 32gigs.  Ah the story  of my life.  I spend so much time upgrading or thinking about price per litres or grams, I rarely stop to think about whether I need all that extra_________, whatever it may be.  How much is enough?  Will I be happier or more fulfilled if I had a bigger place? Better car?  Taller?  haha.  Hmmm.

On a lighter note.  In the whole "new lease on life" persona, I have begun my adult swimming lessons.  First lesson last Thursday.  I walked into the pool and about 10 kids the age of Rhys looked at me as they jumped off the side of the pool and swam to their instructors and parents.  The whole place froze and looked at us when we walked in.  The lady that checked us in looked at our faces and said, "don't worry, its just gonna be you 4 and the instructor, these kids are done in a few minutes."  What a relief.  Who wants to be shown up by a 3 year old.  So my problem lies in breathing and kicking.  I watched the Guardian the other day with Chris to sike myself up.  I am ready for tomorrows lesson.  I WILL learn to swim.  Does anyone have adult water wings they want to lend me?  Ashton Kucher is the man!