Having all this time on my hands, you would think that I have pretty much run through every scenario in my mind. I think I have. Everything from what I am going to do once I get a clean bill of health- to what happens if things take a turn for the worse. Thinking about the future of myself, my family and my friends have lead me to many different revelations about life and how I used to live it. And how I choose to live it now. Yesterday, I realized that I need to stay in the present and not be so focused on the future. When it comes to medical treatment, I have been taking it day by day. On a personal level, I wonder if I have been too closed off.
My cousin and my aunt came over to visit. My aunt is my dad's oldest sister. As soon as she came into my place, tears of joy began to well. She was so happy to see that I was still chubby and looked relatively the same. She said she was so relieved to see that I wasn't frail looking. She said her prayers were answered and her heart was at peace now that she had seen me in person. Her husband, my uncle, has difficulty walking in his old age and is confined at home. So I went home with my aunt to see my uncle. He immediately began to tear up as I walked in the door. He said the same thing to me- how much better he felt as soon as he saw me. He said, except for the bald head, I looked pretty much the same. Later that night, I went to the AAA boys basketball final with a buddy. I ran into my co-worker Kary there. He had a big smile on his face when he saw that I was doing well. He told me he was gonna call up some of the guys from work and let them know. The relief that I saw on those 3 faces yesterday made me realize that there are a lot of people out there worried about me. Cancer will always bring about that kind of worry. I think I need to be more intentional in meeting up with people and giving a live status report. I guess it's easy to hide behind a blog or post a pic here and there and expect people to think I am ok. I start day 1 of round 3 tomorrow. Day 6 and 7 are usually my worst days and days 7-10 is when I need to watch myself around germs and public places. Outside of that, I want to make sure people in my life know I am ok by actually seeing me. It is all about the NOW- not the later. I suggested to June maybe we should throw a big party this week and invite everyone. She said no. No party, but definitely a coffee or a phone call might be cool.
Matthew 6:34- Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
My prayer: Dear God, I thank you for surrounding my life with such amazing people. Great friends and family members that I love and who love me back. I realize that many of them are worried about cancer and what it is doing to me. I pray Lord that you give them peace. The same peace that June and I have experienced through your love and grace the last few months. The peace that comes from knowing You. This peace I now ask to be over my friends and family. A peace that they can also come to experience in their own lives, when they are faced with trials and hardships. Thank you Lord for your love that transcends all understanding. I pray in the name of Your Son, Jesus, Amen.
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