ok first off, thank you all for donating to prostate cancer research. if you haven't yet and you want to
http://ca.movember.com/mospace/2411942/
please click on the link and donate to me or my team,
Got another clean bill of health this week. No CT scan but clean x-ray and blood work. Next scan will be in February. Your prayers and continued well wishes mean so much to me and june. Granted, there could be no one reading this anymore as my work hours have begun to climb and I have been blogging less. If there are still gilbloggists out there- thanks for still checking in. It's been a year since the tumor removal surgery. Wow, what a year. I remember last year I was just done surgery and the cancer was "gone" It was a joyous christmas. Then the cancer came back after christmas, interesting new year. This year, even more to be thankful about. The word I throw around a lot now it the word, intentionality. It's something that my brother and buddy Chris taught me, before and during my fight with cancer. Which is about time since I have taught those 2 so much already, finally they teach me something. I don't know any 2 people that are more intentional in what they do. I have pulled some serious hours the last few weeks. It's a combination of catching up on being off for 9 months and also year end and Christmas at Coke. My docs aren't thrilled with the idea but I know the hours will shorten soon after december. I realize more and more that when you are more intentional with your time, you get a lot more done. Whether it be intentional about work duties or recreational things, it takes an effort. Right now, my week days consist of waking up, going to work, come home, sometimes just in time to put Rhys to bed, often not. Then it's pretty much go to bed. Sleep more on weekends. This last appointment with the onc's- they told me its usually 2 months for every 1 month of chemo to recover back to baseline 0. I did 4 months of chemo, and so my energy should get back to normal soon. Numbness is slowly retreating in my hands. All in all, very good news.
Of course at the doc appointment, there was another intern/resident. The count of people that have seen my junk now is 14. And climbing with each visit to any hospital. I pretty much just drop trou whenever i am even near any medical professional. It is awkward when I instinctively just drop them at the pharmacy counter in zellers but whatever.
Anyways, it's the weekend. Family day. Gonna put down the crackberry and spend some time putting up the christmas tree with Rhys and June. Disney on Ice tomorrow (yes, I bought the tickets not thinking the lions were gonna make the grey cup- they were 0-5) ah well, thats what sports centre is for. I even skipped poker last night- while that seems like no big thing and june want to offer me a cookie, it's a big step for me not to go out and take my friends money- it's so easy. Instead I just vegged on the couch and went to bed. Oh how the friday nights change when you are old. I know this is the busy season for everyone. Hope to see all of you real soon.
Remember- movember is prostate cancer awareness month. one sure fire way of being aware, is donating some cash yo!
peace out like leroy bell in x factor, i am OUT
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
http://mobro.co/gilyeung
well so far, June has kissed me once this month. ok, i kissed her and she was asleep haha. The other day, I was at an awards dinner for a university and a board member came over and said, "I hate to ask, its almost like asking a woman if they are pregnant, but is that for movember, because its a horrible moustache" i looked at him and said, "whats movember?
It's getting kinda sad now. When I walk by playgrounds, hordes of kids and their parents start heading for their bikes and cars. Everyone keeps talking to me in spanish. Weird thing is, I can't stop touching it and stroking it. Like some sort of wise old man in deep thought. Of course the fight against cancer is near and dear to my heart, but I gotta wonder why the moustache. Couldnt we have grown our eyebrows or armpit hair?
There are many positives to Movember besides raising money for a great cause
1. I am going to be so much better looking Dec 1
2. I may be in an episode of CSI playing mexican drug lord, Gilberto Alverez
3. Anytime I am hungry, I can just snack on the food that is caught on my upper lip from previous meals
On a serious note: please look to donate: http://mobro.co/gilyeung
we spend 5 bucks on a frappe at starbucks without blinking an eye. i buy stuff for Rhys without looking at the price tag. This month, anything I buy rhys, I will match in my donation to someone's movember cause. if everyone skips a few starbucks the next 2 weeks and donate, that would be awesome
my goal was to raise $5000, I am a little short on target. Maybe a picture of my progress will help the cause.
It's getting kinda sad now. When I walk by playgrounds, hordes of kids and their parents start heading for their bikes and cars. Everyone keeps talking to me in spanish. Weird thing is, I can't stop touching it and stroking it. Like some sort of wise old man in deep thought. Of course the fight against cancer is near and dear to my heart, but I gotta wonder why the moustache. Couldnt we have grown our eyebrows or armpit hair?
There are many positives to Movember besides raising money for a great cause
1. I am going to be so much better looking Dec 1
2. I may be in an episode of CSI playing mexican drug lord, Gilberto Alverez
3. Anytime I am hungry, I can just snack on the food that is caught on my upper lip from previous meals
On a serious note: please look to donate: http://mobro.co/gilyeung
we spend 5 bucks on a frappe at starbucks without blinking an eye. i buy stuff for Rhys without looking at the price tag. This month, anything I buy rhys, I will match in my donation to someone's movember cause. if everyone skips a few starbucks the next 2 weeks and donate, that would be awesome
 |
| Gilberto Alverez |
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Movember 13, 2011
I learned 9 months ago to trust God when it came to my family. Last night my good friend Deb reminded me again that our children belong to God. We are just stewards for God here on earth. Today's sermon was yet another reminder by Pastor Lee and his wife Sage. If we try to hang on to our kids too tight instead of giving them over to God, we will find ourselves full of worry and unrest. I think God understands that my thick skull needs about 3-4 reminders before things set in. This afternoon, I saw a glimpse of why Rhys belongs to God and not June and I.
Flashpoint style- (4 hours earlier)
June has taken over an elderly home program that Tenth Church is apart of. There is a rotation of churches that go to the Royal Arch Masonic Seniors Care Home every Sunday afternoon and lead a Sunday service for them in the afternoon. We thought it would be a good way for our family and our small group to get involved. It was a pretty simple task. We go there and go room to room and ask people if they wanted to come join the church service and if they needed help, we would wheel them or help them get to the meeting area. We then would sing some hymns and I was to share a small devotional and then a time for prayer. Due to many circumstances, the only volunteers today was June, Rhys and myself. And Mike, another guy from 10th. So we went to Wendy's for lunch before heading to the home. After we ate, Rhys blew the biggest tantrum I have ever seen. All because she wanted to put her jacket on the floor at Wendy's and I said no. This resulted in 5 mins of screaming inside the restaurant followed by 10 mins in the car. I was thinking to myself. How bad would it look if we no-showed. The only 4 people that could make it today. I'm sure Mike is going to re-think the next time I offer him a ride and lunch. As a father, you really learn to not sweat the small stuff. Boogers, poo and pee, tantrums and such- it's all good after a while. So not a lot fazes me and June anymore. We headed to the home. Once there, God took over. Rhys was a perfect angel. She sang and did the actions to twinkle twinkle little star. She helped me go door to door and knock and ask for each person to come to service. She handed out songbooks to everyone who didn't have one. Although June was amazing on the piano, and as you all know, I can't really sing, but most of the elderly were hard of hearing so to them, I was Bono. Any of you who go to church, know about hymns right? Just keep singing it louder whether you know the song or are in key, and it will be alright. Back to my point. It had nothing to do with the 3 adults in the room, not the singing or my talk. It was all about a 3 year old girl that brought joy to many elderly folk today. She gave hugs, shook hands, and talked to them. The joy I saw in their eyes brought me to tears. One lady, Margaret came with stickers for her. She was as happy to give them as Rhys was to receive. I always knew that in these types of volunteer situations, it always does more for me personally than I ever actually do for them. When we were about to leave, Rhys looked at me and said, I really had a great time today, Daddy. I thought to myself- this is God's child, not mine. Phew, pretty heavy on a Sunday afternoon. I can't wait to go back. Anyone out there interested, let me know. I saw my kid go from the terror child at wendy's to a little angel in the seniors home. Pretty crazy.
Ok, on another note. I did my blood tests and next appointment with cancer docs in a few weeks.
Also, I am looking absolutely disgusting now with this mustache. People are literally grabbing their kids and leaving the room when I enter. Please don't let me look like this for nothing. Donate to movember...donate to me or my team. We are called Hair Jordans- this is my link
http://mobro.co/gilyeung
If I get 5 donations tonight, I will post a pic tomorrow
Peace.
Flashpoint style- (4 hours earlier)
June has taken over an elderly home program that Tenth Church is apart of. There is a rotation of churches that go to the Royal Arch Masonic Seniors Care Home every Sunday afternoon and lead a Sunday service for them in the afternoon. We thought it would be a good way for our family and our small group to get involved. It was a pretty simple task. We go there and go room to room and ask people if they wanted to come join the church service and if they needed help, we would wheel them or help them get to the meeting area. We then would sing some hymns and I was to share a small devotional and then a time for prayer. Due to many circumstances, the only volunteers today was June, Rhys and myself. And Mike, another guy from 10th. So we went to Wendy's for lunch before heading to the home. After we ate, Rhys blew the biggest tantrum I have ever seen. All because she wanted to put her jacket on the floor at Wendy's and I said no. This resulted in 5 mins of screaming inside the restaurant followed by 10 mins in the car. I was thinking to myself. How bad would it look if we no-showed. The only 4 people that could make it today. I'm sure Mike is going to re-think the next time I offer him a ride and lunch. As a father, you really learn to not sweat the small stuff. Boogers, poo and pee, tantrums and such- it's all good after a while. So not a lot fazes me and June anymore. We headed to the home. Once there, God took over. Rhys was a perfect angel. She sang and did the actions to twinkle twinkle little star. She helped me go door to door and knock and ask for each person to come to service. She handed out songbooks to everyone who didn't have one. Although June was amazing on the piano, and as you all know, I can't really sing, but most of the elderly were hard of hearing so to them, I was Bono. Any of you who go to church, know about hymns right? Just keep singing it louder whether you know the song or are in key, and it will be alright. Back to my point. It had nothing to do with the 3 adults in the room, not the singing or my talk. It was all about a 3 year old girl that brought joy to many elderly folk today. She gave hugs, shook hands, and talked to them. The joy I saw in their eyes brought me to tears. One lady, Margaret came with stickers for her. She was as happy to give them as Rhys was to receive. I always knew that in these types of volunteer situations, it always does more for me personally than I ever actually do for them. When we were about to leave, Rhys looked at me and said, I really had a great time today, Daddy. I thought to myself- this is God's child, not mine. Phew, pretty heavy on a Sunday afternoon. I can't wait to go back. Anyone out there interested, let me know. I saw my kid go from the terror child at wendy's to a little angel in the seniors home. Pretty crazy.
Ok, on another note. I did my blood tests and next appointment with cancer docs in a few weeks.
Also, I am looking absolutely disgusting now with this mustache. People are literally grabbing their kids and leaving the room when I enter. Please don't let me look like this for nothing. Donate to movember...donate to me or my team. We are called Hair Jordans- this is my link
http://mobro.co/gilyeung
If I get 5 donations tonight, I will post a pic tomorrow
Peace.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Movember 6, 2011
I came to a bit of a realization that I wanted to share. This happened in my men's group bible study on Friday. We were discussing how our busy lives affect our family life and how we love our spouses and kids. Something quite unique has happened since cancer. I didn't really think about it until recently.
As fathers, there are a few things we all do. We love to give ourselves major credit when we are able to handle our kids without our wives. I used to think, wow, I did it, I put Rhys to bed. The entire process- dinner, bath, brushing teeth, storytime and finally to bed. I am amazing. Or, I just took Rhys out to shopping or to the library...I am super dad. Then you begin to realize that the things you want to be awarded a medal for- your wife does on a day to day basis...without any fanfare. Before cancer, I would come home tired, and not want to put Rhys down or play games or just give her the attention she wanted. For 9 months I was with her everyday, waking and sleeping. Something changed. I will be the first to admit that it is tougher to read my bible as much as I did when I was off on treatment. It's been easier to pray- but that's because there seems to be so much to pray for. Both thanksgiving and seeking God's wisdom. My relationship with June has somewhat changed. We still argue like any two married people. Our patience ebbs and flows. One thing that hasn't changed is Rhys. I absolutely love spending time with her. No matter how tired I am from work, or how difficult she is being, I welcome every second with her. I know it's a weird thing to lay claim to, as all parents should love their kids and want to spend time with them. But it's hard sometimes. Life gets busy, meltdowns happen and there are still sleepless nights. I really can't explain it. Whether she is crying, laughing, peeing all over the place or sleeping. I can't get enough of this child. My patience is short sometimes for work things, wife things, friends and just the general public. But for Rhys, I have all the time in the world. I find it strange...definitely a change from before. I spend a 5 hour plane ride from Toronto to Vancouver last week. A baby 2 rows in front cried for 4 and half hours of the flight. It didn't even faze me. Crying babies- music to my ears. I am a freak right? Maybe hundreds of games of candyland later. Or reading the same Olivia book every night will soon take its toll. But tonight, Rhys and I went to superstore to shop. June was out and it was daddy/daughter hangout day. We ran up and down all over superstore and bought a portable kids toilet seat( yes mostly for peeing in chinese restaurant bathrooms), some bubble bath and crackers. As we drove home, Rhys goes.."daddy, i love hanging out with you". I know it won't always be like this...she is going to grow up and things may change. But I will cherish every moment that I have with her. I wish I could be like this for other areas of my life.
Got a blood test this week and then another cancer checkup at the end of the month. No matter how hard you try to block it from your mind, the weeks leading up to checkup sucks. Every aching back pain makes you wonder if it was the same pain you felt when you got diagnosed. But then I keep thinking about what Job said to his wife when she told him to curse God and die and get it over with. "You are a talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?"
If you haven't received my email yet...please give to movember. thanks
As fathers, there are a few things we all do. We love to give ourselves major credit when we are able to handle our kids without our wives. I used to think, wow, I did it, I put Rhys to bed. The entire process- dinner, bath, brushing teeth, storytime and finally to bed. I am amazing. Or, I just took Rhys out to shopping or to the library...I am super dad. Then you begin to realize that the things you want to be awarded a medal for- your wife does on a day to day basis...without any fanfare. Before cancer, I would come home tired, and not want to put Rhys down or play games or just give her the attention she wanted. For 9 months I was with her everyday, waking and sleeping. Something changed. I will be the first to admit that it is tougher to read my bible as much as I did when I was off on treatment. It's been easier to pray- but that's because there seems to be so much to pray for. Both thanksgiving and seeking God's wisdom. My relationship with June has somewhat changed. We still argue like any two married people. Our patience ebbs and flows. One thing that hasn't changed is Rhys. I absolutely love spending time with her. No matter how tired I am from work, or how difficult she is being, I welcome every second with her. I know it's a weird thing to lay claim to, as all parents should love their kids and want to spend time with them. But it's hard sometimes. Life gets busy, meltdowns happen and there are still sleepless nights. I really can't explain it. Whether she is crying, laughing, peeing all over the place or sleeping. I can't get enough of this child. My patience is short sometimes for work things, wife things, friends and just the general public. But for Rhys, I have all the time in the world. I find it strange...definitely a change from before. I spend a 5 hour plane ride from Toronto to Vancouver last week. A baby 2 rows in front cried for 4 and half hours of the flight. It didn't even faze me. Crying babies- music to my ears. I am a freak right? Maybe hundreds of games of candyland later. Or reading the same Olivia book every night will soon take its toll. But tonight, Rhys and I went to superstore to shop. June was out and it was daddy/daughter hangout day. We ran up and down all over superstore and bought a portable kids toilet seat( yes mostly for peeing in chinese restaurant bathrooms), some bubble bath and crackers. As we drove home, Rhys goes.."daddy, i love hanging out with you". I know it won't always be like this...she is going to grow up and things may change. But I will cherish every moment that I have with her. I wish I could be like this for other areas of my life.
Got a blood test this week and then another cancer checkup at the end of the month. No matter how hard you try to block it from your mind, the weeks leading up to checkup sucks. Every aching back pain makes you wonder if it was the same pain you felt when you got diagnosed. But then I keep thinking about what Job said to his wife when she told him to curse God and die and get it over with. "You are a talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?"
If you haven't received my email yet...please give to movember. thanks
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Movember 5
Hi,
It’s Movember, the month formerly known as November, which is dedicated to growing moustaches and raising awareness and funds for men’s health. I have joined the movement and will be donating my upper lip to the cause for 30 days. My Mo will spark conversations, and no doubt generate some laughs; all in the name of raising vital awareness and funds for prostate cancer.
Why am I so passionate about men’s health?
*On average men live 4-5 years less than women
*1 in 7 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime
* 25,500 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer this year in Canada
I invite you to support me by donating to me http://mobro.co/gilyeung
You can even go old school and write a cheque payable to “Movember Canada”, reference my name and Registration Number 2411942 and send it to: Movember Canada, 119 Spadina Avenue, PO Box 65, Toronto, ON M5T 2T2
All donations are tax deductible.
We only have a month to grow Mos and raise awareness and fund, so please come along for the ride.
Funds raised will help make a tangible difference to the lives of others. Through the Movember Foundation and their men’s health partner, the Prostate Cancer Canada, Movember is funding world class awareness, research, educational and support programs which would otherwise not be possible.
For more details on how the funds raised from previous campaigns have been used and the impact Movember is having please click on the links below:
About Movember
Prostate Cancer Foundation research
Global Action Plan
Please donate here - http://mobro.co/gilyeung
Thank you in advance for helping me change the face of men's health. Go the Mo!
gilbert yeung
Moustache Season. Now Open.
It’s Movember, the month formerly known as November, which is dedicated to growing moustaches and raising awareness and funds for men’s health. I have joined the movement and will be donating my upper lip to the cause for 30 days. My Mo will spark conversations, and no doubt generate some laughs; all in the name of raising vital awareness and funds for prostate cancer.
Why am I so passionate about men’s health?
*On average men live 4-5 years less than women
*1 in 7 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime
* 25,500 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer this year in Canada
I invite you to support me by donating to me http://mobro.co/gilyeung
You can even go old school and write a cheque payable to “Movember Canada”, reference my name and Registration Number 2411942 and send it to: Movember Canada, 119 Spadina Avenue, PO Box 65, Toronto, ON M5T 2T2
All donations are tax deductible.
We only have a month to grow Mos and raise awareness and fund, so please come along for the ride.
Funds raised will help make a tangible difference to the lives of others. Through the Movember Foundation and their men’s health partner, the Prostate Cancer Canada, Movember is funding world class awareness, research, educational and support programs which would otherwise not be possible.
For more details on how the funds raised from previous campaigns have been used and the impact Movember is having please click on the links below:
About Movember
Prostate Cancer Foundation research
Global Action Plan
Please donate here - http://mobro.co/gilyeung
Thank you in advance for helping me change the face of men's health. Go the Mo!
gilbert yeung
Moustache Season. Now Open.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Thursday Movember 3, 2011
Yes, that's right. Movember. I did it last year and I wasn't even sick. When you all stop laughing...it's for a good cause. Yes, this asian man, who recently lost all his hair is not growing it wherever he can. Mostly the upper lip. Here is some info.
http://ca.movember.com/about
in a nutshell, its for prostate cancer. So, I will be taking pictures and I know it won't look like I am involved until about week 3 and yes, I will take all the "you got some dirt on your lip" jokes. If you want to support the cause...please email me or text me
gilyeung@live.com
6049700808
my goal is to raise more money than the other asian at work.
Probably time for a heath update. Everyone at work is telling me that I am working too many hours. I am trying to balance. Made it home for dinner twice this week. The crying of Rhys before preschool has stopped. Life has a semblance of normalcy. Of course there is another bloodtest next week and another followup checkup at the end of November but I am refusing to live life from one checkup to another. One of my favorite "suffering" verses in the bible is found in the book of Job
Naked I come from the womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, may the name of the Lord be praised. Job 1 :21
When I was younger, I looked at this verse in admiration. Job did have everything taken away from him and yet his faith didn't waiver. I always thought it would be cool to be that faithful. Many years later, I am now experiencing this verse in a much different place. My daily struggle of putting my faith in God for not only my health but my family's well being doesn't even come close to what Job faced but I get a glimpse. Everytime I feel an ache in my back and the thoughts of the cancer returning enter my brain. It gives me an opportunity to trust God with my life all over again. I am reminded constantly for a reason...the reasons for God's goodness, mercy and grace.
Yes there is another blog...urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
http://ca.movember.com/about
in a nutshell, its for prostate cancer. So, I will be taking pictures and I know it won't look like I am involved until about week 3 and yes, I will take all the "you got some dirt on your lip" jokes. If you want to support the cause...please email me or text me
gilyeung@live.com
6049700808
my goal is to raise more money than the other asian at work.
Probably time for a heath update. Everyone at work is telling me that I am working too many hours. I am trying to balance. Made it home for dinner twice this week. The crying of Rhys before preschool has stopped. Life has a semblance of normalcy. Of course there is another bloodtest next week and another followup checkup at the end of November but I am refusing to live life from one checkup to another. One of my favorite "suffering" verses in the bible is found in the book of Job
Naked I come from the womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, may the name of the Lord be praised. Job 1 :21
When I was younger, I looked at this verse in admiration. Job did have everything taken away from him and yet his faith didn't waiver. I always thought it would be cool to be that faithful. Many years later, I am now experiencing this verse in a much different place. My daily struggle of putting my faith in God for not only my health but my family's well being doesn't even come close to what Job faced but I get a glimpse. Everytime I feel an ache in my back and the thoughts of the cancer returning enter my brain. It gives me an opportunity to trust God with my life all over again. I am reminded constantly for a reason...the reasons for God's goodness, mercy and grace.
Yes there is another blog...urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
Monday, October 17, 2011
Monday Oct 17, 2011
(if you are tired of this blog, check out my other blog- urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
Another landmark today. Rhys went to preschool and didn't cry. She has been crying for a month straight everytime June or I brought her. Today, my brother, mom and dad brought her... not one tear. We always ask her why she cries when we bring her and then is ok when we leave. She always tells us it's because she misses us. When I asked her why she didn't cry today. She screamed...it's because I don't miss uncle Dan, yeah!!! Seriously, amidst all the yelling and tantrums, this kid cracks me up.
Thanks for all that came out last last Sunday to hear me share at church. It meant a lot to see you there. Big shout out to Rosy and Kelv from Pacific Grace (you know you are old when you're former youth group kids are graduating from univeristy). Thanks for the baby that cried in the third service and let me attempt a "shigematsu" as I call it. Gonna have to come to tenth to find out what that means. Seriously though, so much respect for all my pastors at Tenth. 4 sermons in one day- amazing. Really sinks in when you listen to all 4 sermons too. I recommend that to all. Just try it once, go to all 4 services, I guarantee you will get something different from each one.
If you missed it, its online if you want to check it out:
http://www.tenth.ca/media.php?pageID=29
and if you rather just read: here is what I shared.
Another landmark today. Rhys went to preschool and didn't cry. She has been crying for a month straight everytime June or I brought her. Today, my brother, mom and dad brought her... not one tear. We always ask her why she cries when we bring her and then is ok when we leave. She always tells us it's because she misses us. When I asked her why she didn't cry today. She screamed...it's because I don't miss uncle Dan, yeah!!! Seriously, amidst all the yelling and tantrums, this kid cracks me up.
Thanks for all that came out last last Sunday to hear me share at church. It meant a lot to see you there. Big shout out to Rosy and Kelv from Pacific Grace (you know you are old when you're former youth group kids are graduating from univeristy). Thanks for the baby that cried in the third service and let me attempt a "shigematsu" as I call it. Gonna have to come to tenth to find out what that means. Seriously though, so much respect for all my pastors at Tenth. 4 sermons in one day- amazing. Really sinks in when you listen to all 4 sermons too. I recommend that to all. Just try it once, go to all 4 services, I guarantee you will get something different from each one.
If you missed it, its online if you want to check it out:
http://www.tenth.ca/media.php?pageID=29
and if you rather just read: here is what I shared.
It was about a year ago when I started feeling sick and the doctors couldn’t figure out why. They decided to cut me open for some exploratory surgery. When they did, they found a tumor and removed it. Following that, I waited for two weeks for a CT scan and results. The word cancer is usually associated with panic and fear. And that is exactly what happened. I ran through every worse case scenario in my head. Everytime I looked at my 3 year old daughter, Rhys, I choked up at the thought of not being around for her. I laid beside my wife, June at night and wondered about her future. This fear and panic lasted one week. That’s all it took for God to get a message through my thick skull. I’ve known God almost my whole life and realized that my relationship to him was strictly, boss/worker or teacher/student. For the first time, I entered a father/son relationship with him. He was there holding me and my family in his hands at a time when we didn’t know what to do.
When I shared the news with my small group- I told them how I felt a bit of shame and guilt for clinging to God in this time of need. One of the mothers said to me: You know when our children are sick and they come to us for comfort, we don’t push them away and say, “you didn’t listen to me yesterday or you didn’t eat your vegetables at dinner”, we still love them and hold them- that’s what God will do for you. Ken put it best in a sermon a few months ago. When we are faced with losing what is most important to us- it opens the door to draw closer to God. And through cancer, I had drawn closer to God
Through my daily prayer and devotion, God threw scripture after scripture at me for comfort, one of the first verses he revealed to me was Matt. 11:28
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
By the time the day of results came, I felt peace. Now I am generally not a peaceful guy. I am kinda neurotic, paranoid, uptight and a bit of a spaz- yup my wife is a lucky woman. I am the guy that checks the stove constantly before he leaves the house- I go back and check the door knob after getting into my car to make sure the house is locked. I am that guy. But there was none of that.
When the doctor told us that the cancer was gone and seemed to be contained in the tumor that was removed- I felt great but it wasn’t a rushing, overwhelming sensation of relief associated with that kind of news. Just peace knowing that everything was in God’s hands. The doctors said they would keep scanning me frequently for the next few years in case it comes back.
6 weeks later, on my very next checkup- the doctor told me that the cancer was back. The panic rose again briefly and then subsided literally while I was in his office. I called June and told her the news and that I was going to go through chemotherapy. I remembered reading Lance Armstrong’s book about his battle with cancer and a line from his doctor explaining his chemotherapy treatment-he said, “I am going to kill you everyday and then bring you back” that’s how we are going to beat this.
The side effects from my treatment was suppose to be massive nausea, fatigue and nerve damage. June was more scared about the chemo than the cancer. But I had so much support from family and friends- many from this congregation. Ken and his whole staff here at tenth was praying for me. It didn’t feel like we were facing this alone.
I went through 4 consecutive rounds of chemo. Out of 90 days in treatment, I had maybe 4 bad days, my biggest side effect for a while was hiccups. The doctors and nurses in the ward kept saying I was handling the chemo better than anyone they had ever seen.
During the treatment, a few other things began to happen. I started a daily blog to update people on my status- my co workers and friends read it and it opened up all these conversations about my faith and God. I began sharing my faith and praying for random cancer patients in the ward. They were stuck in there with me for 3 hours a day so they were forced to listen me. Hard to tell the cancer patient to shut up.
My family became my rock, I saw my younger brother become the man of the house in my sickness and our relationship became stronger than ever. I saw my mom and dad put on a brave face everyday even though her child was sick and she knew she couldn’t do anything about it besides pray . My sister was there for whatever we needed, no matter what it was. Friends came from all over the city to drive me to chemo and sit there with me.
Through it all, God continue to hold us in his arms. June and I would be up late at night talking and I would ask her, are you ok, no really are you ok, like really ok, would you tell me if you were not, Then I would accuse her of being too ok with the situation, and we would have a laugh about that-we were both calm and at peace…I cant explain it.
On Aug 9,this year, I was proclaimed cancer free. The doctor said it is very unlikely that the cancer will come back. I thought to myself- that’s what you said last time. But you know what- It doesn’t matter- because I know whatever happens in my life- God isn’t just with me, he is carrying me through it.
There’s a song I have known since I was 8 years old and I didn’t truly understand the power of the lyrics until now
My peace I give unto you
It’s a peace that the world cannot give
It’s a peace that the world cannot understand
Peace to know, Peace to live,
My Peace I give unto you
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Sunday October 10, 2011
I had a chance share a bit of my journey through cancer at church this morning. I am very grateful to my Pastor Ken for letting me be part of his sermon. Thank you all who came out. It meant a lot tonsee you.
I often hear a lot of complaining in my line of work. I have a three year old at home so there is a fair amount of complaining there as well. She just doesn't know she is doing it. I figured after chemo, there really isn't too much to complain about. I was wrong. And just when I began to revert back to some bad habits, God finds interesting ways to snap me back to reality. I went by the cancer clinic last week and one of my friends who's a nurse there told me of another man starting the same treatment I had. It brought back so many memories of my experience there. Writing out what I shared in church today also made me think of all that is happened this year. But the best reminder I got this week about life was found on a sign in Rhys' dance studio.
It's not about weathering the storm
It's about learning to dance in the rain
Cheesy. Maybe. But true.
I often hear a lot of complaining in my line of work. I have a three year old at home so there is a fair amount of complaining there as well. She just doesn't know she is doing it. I figured after chemo, there really isn't too much to complain about. I was wrong. And just when I began to revert back to some bad habits, God finds interesting ways to snap me back to reality. I went by the cancer clinic last week and one of my friends who's a nurse there told me of another man starting the same treatment I had. It brought back so many memories of my experience there. Writing out what I shared in church today also made me think of all that is happened this year. But the best reminder I got this week about life was found on a sign in Rhys' dance studio.
It's not about weathering the storm
It's about learning to dance in the rain
Cheesy. Maybe. But true.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Thursday, Oct 6, 2011
I will be sharing my cancer journey this Sunday, Oct 9, at my church. My church has 4 services on Sunday and I will be sharing at all of them.
9:30am- Tenth Avenue Alliance Church-11 West 10th Avenue, Vancouver
10:30am- Kitsilano Highschool-2550 W 10th Ave Vancouver
11:30am- back at Tenth Avenue Alliance-11 West 10th Avenue, Vancouver
7pm-(for all you football fans and late night saturday partiers)- Tenth Avenue Alliance Church- 11 West 10th Avenue, Vancouver
hope to see you there
If you are tired of this blog, check out my other blog- urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
9:30am- Tenth Avenue Alliance Church-11 West 10th Avenue, Vancouver
10:30am- Kitsilano Highschool-2550 W 10th Ave Vancouver
11:30am- back at Tenth Avenue Alliance-11 West 10th Avenue, Vancouver
hope to see you there
If you are tired of this blog, check out my other blog- urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Sunday Oct 2, 2011
Wow, anyone ever try to catch up on 9 months worth of emails. I don't recommend it. Yes, back at work. I have to admit, I am loving being back. There is a slight chance that when I do pass away, they may do an autopsy and find coke zero or vitamin water running through my veins. Just glad to be healthy and working. There is a lot of work to do but I have a great team and looking forward to finishing the year off strong.
Preschool update- well, its been 3 weeks and Rhys is still crying a lot before June drives her to school. Then she gets pried away from June's leg and over to the teacher. 15 seconds later, no more crying. It's strange but apparently normal. I picked her up once and she was just sitting there laughing on her cubby hole with all her friends. Yeah, June has the tough part because she is driving her to, and picking her up from preschool. Hopefully, the crying will end soon. She was a flower girl yesterday at my friend Andy's wedding. Only time I will ever allow another boy to hold her hand. He was 4 years old.
I may be sharing my cancer story this coming Sunday at church. More info to come. Hope some of you can make it out for that. You guys have been with me through out this whole journey. Might as well continue on with the ride.
Big congrats to some friends who just had babies:
Stevo and Kristine- welcome baby Bennet(t)
Chuck and Myra- welcome baby Elliot, or lil E as I will call him
Natalie and Tony- welcome baby Vincenzo
Jim and Lisa- welcome baby Kaylee
such cool names...very nice ( would be nice if all there middle names were gil, named after their uncle that is gonna spoil them rotten when they get older)
peace
if you are tired of this blog...checkout my other blog
urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
Preschool update- well, its been 3 weeks and Rhys is still crying a lot before June drives her to school. Then she gets pried away from June's leg and over to the teacher. 15 seconds later, no more crying. It's strange but apparently normal. I picked her up once and she was just sitting there laughing on her cubby hole with all her friends. Yeah, June has the tough part because she is driving her to, and picking her up from preschool. Hopefully, the crying will end soon. She was a flower girl yesterday at my friend Andy's wedding. Only time I will ever allow another boy to hold her hand. He was 4 years old.
I may be sharing my cancer story this coming Sunday at church. More info to come. Hope some of you can make it out for that. You guys have been with me through out this whole journey. Might as well continue on with the ride.
Big congrats to some friends who just had babies:
Stevo and Kristine- welcome baby Bennet(t)
Chuck and Myra- welcome baby Elliot, or lil E as I will call him
Natalie and Tony- welcome baby Vincenzo
Jim and Lisa- welcome baby Kaylee
such cool names...very nice ( would be nice if all there middle names were gil, named after their uncle that is gonna spoil them rotten when they get older)
peace
if you are tired of this blog...checkout my other blog
urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Sun, Sept 18, 2011
What a crazy week. I am officially back at work. I attended a work function on thursday. It was a charity event for canuck place children's hospice. http://www.canuckplace.org/
What a worthy cause. If you want to find somewhere to give, this would be a the place. They played a video that made me tear up. I can't imagine what it feels like to have a child who is terminally ill. It probably is one of my worst nightmares. But the things they do at the hospice not only for the child but for the entire family is amazing. It was a very small part but I am glad I was be a part of something like that.
Rhys started preschool...and hates it. Just like her dad, an aversion to school. Haha
This rule of life came just in time. Work life balance- a definite must for me now- more than ever.
urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
What a worthy cause. If you want to find somewhere to give, this would be a the place. They played a video that made me tear up. I can't imagine what it feels like to have a child who is terminally ill. It probably is one of my worst nightmares. But the things they do at the hospice not only for the child but for the entire family is amazing. It was a very small part but I am glad I was be a part of something like that.
Rhys started preschool...and hates it. Just like her dad, an aversion to school. Haha
This rule of life came just in time. Work life balance- a definite must for me now- more than ever.
urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Tue, Sept 13, 2011
June and I had been wanting to go to New York even before I got sick. So 2 weeks ago we went. We have our friends Kevin and Sylvia to thank for our sweet 5 star accommodations. Now a bucket list sounds very morbid- a better way to look at things is life experiences. That's what I enjoy about life nowadays- those moments that may never happen again but you are sure glad you experienced them when you did. So here goes...some highlights from a week in New York:
In no particular order:
1. Went to top of empire state building
2. Saw Chris play in the world police and firefighter games (bronze medal in football)
3. Times square at night
4. Saw Kobe Bryant and his family, 5 rows in front of us at Lion King
5. Walked the Brooklyn bridge and ate the best pizza ever
6. Saw Russell Crowe in Central Park
7. Watched Andy Roddick and Maria Sharapova live at the US open, centre court
8. Paid $3.00 to go inside the Museum of Natural History (I love dinosaurs)
9. Went to Ground Zero
10. Ate a Nathan's hotdog
Oh yeah, and I am back at work. Trying to cram what I missed in 9 months into as soon as possible. Well, no one can say my life is boring right.
i started another blog- urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com check it out if you feel the urge
In no particular order:
1. Went to top of empire state building
2. Saw Chris play in the world police and firefighter games (bronze medal in football)
3. Times square at night
4. Saw Kobe Bryant and his family, 5 rows in front of us at Lion King
5. Walked the Brooklyn bridge and ate the best pizza ever
6. Saw Russell Crowe in Central Park
7. Watched Andy Roddick and Maria Sharapova live at the US open, centre court
8. Paid $3.00 to go inside the Museum of Natural History (I love dinosaurs)
9. Went to Ground Zero
10. Ate a Nathan's hotdog
Oh yeah, and I am back at work. Trying to cram what I missed in 9 months into as soon as possible. Well, no one can say my life is boring right.
i started another blog- urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com check it out if you feel the urge
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sept 11, 2011
It's been a while since I last blogged. I thought today would be fitting. it's definitely a day that makes you think about life and death. it's one of those days that everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing. but before i get into that, I have started a three month experiment with my pastor on this concept of monastic living in urban times. its hard to explain but if you are interested, i have started another blog to journal and document my 3 months in this experiment. if this peaks your curiosity, then check out urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com. I am going to try and journal through the 3 months to see how this concept affects my life.
ok back to the lecture at hand (snoop and dre)- 9-11, I was in a rental car driving to Toronto pearson airport. I had just spent a week in Guelph hanging with my good buddy Jill who had moved there for her PHD or Masters, I forget. Anyways, driving along the highway, listening to a hip hop station, the song was interrupted by the DJ yelling, "a plane has hit the world trade center!" I thought to myself- what a sick joke to play in the morning or anytime. I flipped to another station and they were talking about the same thing. I realized it was not a radio station prank. I kept driving but I so wanted to pull over and find a tv. Almost at the airport, the second plane hit the the second tower. I was shocked. I got to the airport, returned the car and went in. I went to the counter and they informed me that all domestic flights were still a go so i checked in and went across the street to the hotel to watch CNN with quite a few other people that were in similar states of shock as I was. I watched for almost an hour and then went back to the airport. All the flights had been cancelled. I went to the baggage claim area and it was full of baggage that had been spit back out of the conveyor belts. I got my bag and then called home, I remember calling my Mom and my friend Joe- I think he was going to pick me up. I then called my friend Jill and told her I was still here. She was in class and it was going to be a good 6 hours before she could get the message and come get me. So I hung out at the airport. It was surreal. There was military troops walking around with automatic weapons. There were airline employees that were quite distraught because they had friends that were on the flights that crashed. There were people sad, angry, shocked at the thought of being stuck and not getting home. I remember talking to a few people. I met a couple that was trying to get back to edmonton for their daughter's wedding. I prayed with them and wished them the best in getting to the wedding. I told some people off- (I was young and brash back then) Some people were quite angry at the airlines because of the cancelled flights. I remember yelling at some business man that was yelling at a counter agent for air canada. I said, "hey buddy, in lieu of today's events, do you really think getting on an airplane is a good idea, dumbass" shocking, he didnt appreciate my candor. 5 days later on standby, I was home. 10 years later- I will never forget those images and the people I met with, talked to and prayed with on that day. Pretty crazy.
I was just in New York recently- and went to Ground Zero. It was just a construction zone but I thought of the many innocent victims that died there and all the firefighters and police officers and paramedics that gave their lives to save another's.
I have many good friends that are police officers, in the medical field as nurses and doctors, and a few that are firefighters. I have nothing but the highest respect for people that have dedicated their lives to serving, helping and protecting others.
In my little tousle with cancer this year, although faint-the reality of dying hit me fairly hard at times. Today, I saw on tv so many people that had actually lost loved ones- I teared watching the footage. I know that life goes on. I understand that wounds heal but my prayer today went out to all those who had lost someone during 9-11. It doesn't matter how you lose a loved one. It's tough.
I guess a medical update is also in order. The doctor said no more scans till the new year. I do have bloodtests and xrays in november. I am itching to get back to work. Lot's happening. Yes, I want to go back to work. I miss the people, the problems, the small victories that keep us going. But mostly, I miss the people. I am a Coke dealer...and proud of it.
later and check out urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com if you should feel so inclined to keep reading
PS- June is no longer proof reading so the grammar is gonna suck- sorry
ok back to the lecture at hand (snoop and dre)- 9-11, I was in a rental car driving to Toronto pearson airport. I had just spent a week in Guelph hanging with my good buddy Jill who had moved there for her PHD or Masters, I forget. Anyways, driving along the highway, listening to a hip hop station, the song was interrupted by the DJ yelling, "a plane has hit the world trade center!" I thought to myself- what a sick joke to play in the morning or anytime. I flipped to another station and they were talking about the same thing. I realized it was not a radio station prank. I kept driving but I so wanted to pull over and find a tv. Almost at the airport, the second plane hit the the second tower. I was shocked. I got to the airport, returned the car and went in. I went to the counter and they informed me that all domestic flights were still a go so i checked in and went across the street to the hotel to watch CNN with quite a few other people that were in similar states of shock as I was. I watched for almost an hour and then went back to the airport. All the flights had been cancelled. I went to the baggage claim area and it was full of baggage that had been spit back out of the conveyor belts. I got my bag and then called home, I remember calling my Mom and my friend Joe- I think he was going to pick me up. I then called my friend Jill and told her I was still here. She was in class and it was going to be a good 6 hours before she could get the message and come get me. So I hung out at the airport. It was surreal. There was military troops walking around with automatic weapons. There were airline employees that were quite distraught because they had friends that were on the flights that crashed. There were people sad, angry, shocked at the thought of being stuck and not getting home. I remember talking to a few people. I met a couple that was trying to get back to edmonton for their daughter's wedding. I prayed with them and wished them the best in getting to the wedding. I told some people off- (I was young and brash back then) Some people were quite angry at the airlines because of the cancelled flights. I remember yelling at some business man that was yelling at a counter agent for air canada. I said, "hey buddy, in lieu of today's events, do you really think getting on an airplane is a good idea, dumbass" shocking, he didnt appreciate my candor. 5 days later on standby, I was home. 10 years later- I will never forget those images and the people I met with, talked to and prayed with on that day. Pretty crazy.
I was just in New York recently- and went to Ground Zero. It was just a construction zone but I thought of the many innocent victims that died there and all the firefighters and police officers and paramedics that gave their lives to save another's.
John 15:13- Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
I have many good friends that are police officers, in the medical field as nurses and doctors, and a few that are firefighters. I have nothing but the highest respect for people that have dedicated their lives to serving, helping and protecting others.
In my little tousle with cancer this year, although faint-the reality of dying hit me fairly hard at times. Today, I saw on tv so many people that had actually lost loved ones- I teared watching the footage. I know that life goes on. I understand that wounds heal but my prayer today went out to all those who had lost someone during 9-11. It doesn't matter how you lose a loved one. It's tough.
I guess a medical update is also in order. The doctor said no more scans till the new year. I do have bloodtests and xrays in november. I am itching to get back to work. Lot's happening. Yes, I want to go back to work. I miss the people, the problems, the small victories that keep us going. But mostly, I miss the people. I am a Coke dealer...and proud of it.
later and check out urbanruleoflife.blogspot.com if you should feel so inclined to keep reading
PS- June is no longer proof reading so the grammar is gonna suck- sorry
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Thur. Aug 25th 2011
Well, blood test all clear. Ct scan clear. Doctor says I look good. I am down 15 pounds. Hope to shed even more. Time to get back to work. Sept. 26- return of the coke dealer. My dr and I chatted about some of the after effects and also my return to work regimen. We also discussed the likelihood of reoccurrence- not that we are expecting that but it was good to know. I also poked my head into chemo ward to say hi to my friend nurse Angie and company. Always good to see them when I am not in he chair with an IV. Ok that's all for now. Anyone have some weight loss ideas. Please share.
His was my devotion today- very fitting
About Our Daily Bread
Bring It On!
August 25, 2011
2 Corinthians 11:22–12:10
Three times I was beaten . . . ; three times I was shipwrecked; . . . in perils . . . , in weariness and toil, . . . in hunger and thirst. —2 Corinthians 11:25-27
A TV program on the History Channel featured the world’s most extreme airports. The one that caught my attention is no longer open, but it is one I had flown into. I agree that Hong Kong’s Kai Tak Airport was definitely a thrill ride for passengers and surely a challenge for pilots. If you came in from one direction, you had to fly over skyscrapers and then hope the plane stopped before it plunged into the sea. If you came in the other way, it seemed as if you were going to smack into a mountain.
I found it surprising that a pilot who used to take planeloads of people into Kai Tak said, “I miss flying into that airport.” But I think I know what he meant. As a pilot, he relished the challenge. He had a confidence based on his ability and his reliance on those who guided him into the airport.
Too often, we run from challenges. Yet the people we love to read about in the Bible are impressive because they battled challenges. Consider Paul. With the confidence of God’s help, he faced troubles head-on—and conquered them. Christ’s promise to Paul and to us is: “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). Like Paul’s example, in the confidence of God’s care we can say to the next challenge: Bring it on! —Dave Branon
I do not ask for easy paths
Along life’s winding roads,
But for the promised grace and strength
To carry all its loads. —Meadows
If God sends you on stony paths, He will provide good shoes
His was my devotion today- very fitting
About Our Daily Bread
Bring It On!
August 25, 2011
2 Corinthians 11:22–12:10
Three times I was beaten . . . ; three times I was shipwrecked; . . . in perils . . . , in weariness and toil, . . . in hunger and thirst. —2 Corinthians 11:25-27
A TV program on the History Channel featured the world’s most extreme airports. The one that caught my attention is no longer open, but it is one I had flown into. I agree that Hong Kong’s Kai Tak Airport was definitely a thrill ride for passengers and surely a challenge for pilots. If you came in from one direction, you had to fly over skyscrapers and then hope the plane stopped before it plunged into the sea. If you came in the other way, it seemed as if you were going to smack into a mountain.
I found it surprising that a pilot who used to take planeloads of people into Kai Tak said, “I miss flying into that airport.” But I think I know what he meant. As a pilot, he relished the challenge. He had a confidence based on his ability and his reliance on those who guided him into the airport.
Too often, we run from challenges. Yet the people we love to read about in the Bible are impressive because they battled challenges. Consider Paul. With the confidence of God’s help, he faced troubles head-on—and conquered them. Christ’s promise to Paul and to us is: “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). Like Paul’s example, in the confidence of God’s care we can say to the next challenge: Bring it on! —Dave Branon
I do not ask for easy paths
Along life’s winding roads,
But for the promised grace and strength
To carry all its loads. —Meadows
If God sends you on stony paths, He will provide good shoes
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Tue Aug 23, 2011
I am suppose to get my CT scan and blood tests results this Friday. I went to my family doctor for my routine 3 month diabetes checkup and he had already received a copy of my CT results. All clear! No cancer activity detected. Now I just need to get my blood results on thursday and we are good to go. Hoping to get back to work in September. It was nice to get scan #2 clear and in the books. I had an opportunity to share my story with 106 youths at a bible camp recently. I flipped through my blog beforehand to reminisce. 6 months later, the entire experience still seems quite surreal. Thanks again for everyone that was praying and pulling for me. All those words and notes of encouragement meant more to me and June than I could ever express on a blog. I don't know what the future holds but I am confident that God's plan is perfect and I am just along for the ride.
A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. —Proverbs 16:9
A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. —Proverbs 16:9
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Tuesday Aug 9, 2011
CT scan day, I am peeing every 10 mins. So bloated- full of water. I feel good. Today my goal is to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Who wants odds? Haha, not my strengths definitely. I have still not used my arms in swimming yet. Kicking like madman though. With flippers and a kickboard, I am ashton kutcher in The Guardian. Without them I am the submarine in The Hunt for Red October. Straight to the bottom. I wonder if they make skin color life jackets? Rhys is going to the wiggles tonight. I am not, PTL. Well, off to the cancer clinic. Hope everyone is having a great summer.
How's that for random information. This blog has really gone downhill lately. I am thinking about starting another blog called- What it is to marry June Choi...I have some insights on that, mostly comical and would probably get in trouble with some of the other wives. For example, why do we pay for a cell phone bill when all of June's friends call me when they need to get a hold of her? Is there a cell phone plan out there that is half price and the phone only works for outbound calls and unable to receive calls? Thats pretty much what we have right now. $40 bucks a month to play brickbreaker...hmmm
I saw The Company Men the other day. I highly recommend it- gave me one of those perspective moments. Still working on being content with what I have. This movie definitely makes you think. And is also about the triumph of the human spirit. I like that.
How's that for random information. This blog has really gone downhill lately. I am thinking about starting another blog called- What it is to marry June Choi...I have some insights on that, mostly comical and would probably get in trouble with some of the other wives. For example, why do we pay for a cell phone bill when all of June's friends call me when they need to get a hold of her? Is there a cell phone plan out there that is half price and the phone only works for outbound calls and unable to receive calls? Thats pretty much what we have right now. $40 bucks a month to play brickbreaker...hmmm
I saw The Company Men the other day. I highly recommend it- gave me one of those perspective moments. Still working on being content with what I have. This movie definitely makes you think. And is also about the triumph of the human spirit. I like that.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Thur, Aug 4th
I have a CT scan on Aug 9th, blood work Aug 11, and then results Aug 25th. I hate waiting and i am trying to keep busy, but getting a clean bill of health Aug 25 will give me the green light to go back to work in Sept. To be honest, I can't wait. Part of this recovery period for me has been an attempt at self improvement. Here are the areas that I have been trying to improve...the letters beside each is the grade I am giving myself so far. One small step for gil, is well, still a small step I guess. I can't stop thinking about a quote from one of Lance Armstrong's doctors in his book. He was talking about how cancer doesn't pick and choose. "I see the same ornery people, get cured and go right back to their ornery lives"- That scares me. I don't want to see myself go back to my old life, not that I was a lying, cheating, piece of crap that was wallowing in a miserable state of life. In fact, I think life was good pre-cancer. But I think I want to come out of this experience, stronger, faster and new and improved. It is a slow slow process however, haha.
Daily devotion and prayer- B
Exercise- C+
Eating healthier- A
Controlling temper-C
Cleaning and organizing life-A-
Swimming-C
I may expand on a few of these later, got some funny swimming stories, thats for sure
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God. —Ephesians 2:8
It is good for me to draw near to God. —Psalm 73:28
I read these verses the other day and they reminded me that life is full of bumps along the way and my human/gut reaction is to deal with things, my way or alone. The last 6 months have taught me that no one does it alone, or at least it is a lot easier when you aren't alone.
Daily devotion and prayer- B
Exercise- C+
Eating healthier- A
Controlling temper-C
Cleaning and organizing life-A-
Swimming-C
I may expand on a few of these later, got some funny swimming stories, thats for sure
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God. —Ephesians 2:8
It is good for me to draw near to God. —Psalm 73:28
I read these verses the other day and they reminded me that life is full of bumps along the way and my human/gut reaction is to deal with things, my way or alone. The last 6 months have taught me that no one does it alone, or at least it is a lot easier when you aren't alone.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
July 28, 2011
I got another birthday present the other day, from June. It was late because it came via mail. She took my blog and turned it into a book. I was blown away. Now I have a tangible, actual book outlining my journey the last few months. As I read through my thoughts and musings, I began to realize a few things. Firstly, my grammar skills are horrible. Secondly, the whole cancer experience still seems like a blur to me. As I slowly get back to 100% , I am excited about getting back to work. I relish the opportunity to share my story with anyone who will listen. In sharing my story, the cancer and disease plays only a small part. The bigger part of the story was how my faith got me through a rough patch in my life. And how my family and friends played a huge part in my fight and recovery. I now reflect on how I treasure times spent with family and friends. Different than before. I read a lot about how cancer survivors develop these little quirks. Every ache or pain in the body brings back rushing sensations of dread. Is the cancer back, is that a tumor? I feel Arnold Schwartzenegger(ic) yelling "ITS NOT A TUMOR" like in Kindergarten Cop. I told myself not to think like that but the human brain doesn't always work the way you want it to. I have another blood test and CT scan in August. Getting a clean bill of health on Aug 25th will allow me to go back to work and normal life in September.
I've been told about many people that have started their own battle with cancer recently. It may not always be cancer but we are always battling something. Each of us have our own demons we face on a daily basis. It's easy to just give up or give in. Or we can fight. June and I have begun our next battle- the battle of trying to give Rhys a baby brother or sister. That's a conversation for another day in blogworld. But we ask for your prayers for that.
I read this verse and heard it in a song all on the same week. Not a coincidence
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. —Psalm 30:5
I've been told about many people that have started their own battle with cancer recently. It may not always be cancer but we are always battling something. Each of us have our own demons we face on a daily basis. It's easy to just give up or give in. Or we can fight. June and I have begun our next battle- the battle of trying to give Rhys a baby brother or sister. That's a conversation for another day in blogworld. But we ask for your prayers for that.
I read this verse and heard it in a song all on the same week. Not a coincidence
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. —Psalm 30:5
Saturday, July 16, 2011
July 16, 2011
During my adult swimming lessons. I have to say "adult" because it makes it sound like I am training to be a lifeguard or coast guard rescue swimmer, instead of just your run of the mill, sheltered asian kid with a flutter board and water wings. My instructor, keeps telling me that I am too tense. That's why I sink. Relax. Too tense. I wonder if I am like that in life. Am I too high strung and stressed? Does the same thing that causes you to sink in water be the same in life. Now I think I am pretty relaxed nowadays. Can I relax even more in my attitude toward life and it's stressors? Will that cause me to float or handle life better? I am attending a camp meeting tomorrow where I am suppose to bring an object that best describes me. I have been thinking about it for days and I got nothing. What object is festively plump yet ruggedly handsome? haha, I welcome all suggestions. And some of you have been wondering about the state of my hair. Check it out:
ok the dresser kind of screws up the pic. But the hair is there. This is after 2 haircuts where I got the sides and back trimmed. wait let me get a top view:
That's better. Everyone keeps rubbing my head and tells me it is so soft. Please wash your hands, thanks.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
July 14, 2011
Got my results today. Everything looks normal. One of the enzymes they test was elevated but the doctors are not worried as the elevated readings may be a result of this skin infection I am currently battling. As a precaution, they are going to a do a CT scan at the end of august instead of sept. Just a month early. The doctors assured me that it is not a concern and I am on pace to return to work at the end of August. So overall good news and let's hope this infection clears soon. Cancer-free, 2 months and counting. Thanks again for everyone's prayers and thoughts.
Gil
Gil
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Wed, July 13, 2011
I get another check up tomorrow. Suppose to be a "routine" check up. I don't really think thats possible. Deep down inside, there is always a part of you that wonders if it might come back. Have tried not to think about it it. Again, its is something that is beyond my control. What I am currently fighting is a viral skin infection that isn't making me feel too great.
I feel like God is trying to teach me a lesson in contentment. Being happy and grateful for what I have. Hebrews 13:5 come to mind:
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you
When you are sick, you think about all the things you are grateful for that you may have taken for granted in the past. When you are well again, things get forgotten and you begin to take things for granted again. There seem to be a lot of reminders around me that help me remember the last few months. Even as I am typing this blog, I have to pause every few minutes because the numbness in my fingers makes it hard to type. My doctors have told me its normal. Apparently there was a lot of platinum in the chemo drugs and I have a lot of nerve damage. Nerve damage takes time to heal, a lot of time.
I learned the other day about a few other people I know that have just been diagnosed with cancer and are beginning their battle. They are in my prayers and thoughts every day. That was just me a few months ago. I don't think I will forget my battle any time soon.
I am off on a tangent. Back to my original point. Contentment. I have been staring at the Ipad2 that June gave me for a week now. It's still in the packaging...should I open it or trade up to 32gigs. Ah the story of my life. I spend so much time upgrading or thinking about price per litres or grams, I rarely stop to think about whether I need all that extra_________, whatever it may be. How much is enough? Will I be happier or more fulfilled if I had a bigger place? Better car? Taller? haha. Hmmm.
On a lighter note. In the whole "new lease on life" persona, I have begun my adult swimming lessons. First lesson last Thursday. I walked into the pool and about 10 kids the age of Rhys looked at me as they jumped off the side of the pool and swam to their instructors and parents. The whole place froze and looked at us when we walked in. The lady that checked us in looked at our faces and said, "don't worry, its just gonna be you 4 and the instructor, these kids are done in a few minutes." What a relief. Who wants to be shown up by a 3 year old. So my problem lies in breathing and kicking. I watched the Guardian the other day with Chris to sike myself up. I am ready for tomorrows lesson. I WILL learn to swim. Does anyone have adult water wings they want to lend me? Ashton Kucher is the man!
I feel like God is trying to teach me a lesson in contentment. Being happy and grateful for what I have. Hebrews 13:5 come to mind:
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you
When you are sick, you think about all the things you are grateful for that you may have taken for granted in the past. When you are well again, things get forgotten and you begin to take things for granted again. There seem to be a lot of reminders around me that help me remember the last few months. Even as I am typing this blog, I have to pause every few minutes because the numbness in my fingers makes it hard to type. My doctors have told me its normal. Apparently there was a lot of platinum in the chemo drugs and I have a lot of nerve damage. Nerve damage takes time to heal, a lot of time.
I learned the other day about a few other people I know that have just been diagnosed with cancer and are beginning their battle. They are in my prayers and thoughts every day. That was just me a few months ago. I don't think I will forget my battle any time soon.
I am off on a tangent. Back to my original point. Contentment. I have been staring at the Ipad2 that June gave me for a week now. It's still in the packaging...should I open it or trade up to 32gigs. Ah the story of my life. I spend so much time upgrading or thinking about price per litres or grams, I rarely stop to think about whether I need all that extra_________, whatever it may be. How much is enough? Will I be happier or more fulfilled if I had a bigger place? Better car? Taller? haha. Hmmm.
On a lighter note. In the whole "new lease on life" persona, I have begun my adult swimming lessons. First lesson last Thursday. I walked into the pool and about 10 kids the age of Rhys looked at me as they jumped off the side of the pool and swam to their instructors and parents. The whole place froze and looked at us when we walked in. The lady that checked us in looked at our faces and said, "don't worry, its just gonna be you 4 and the instructor, these kids are done in a few minutes." What a relief. Who wants to be shown up by a 3 year old. So my problem lies in breathing and kicking. I watched the Guardian the other day with Chris to sike myself up. I am ready for tomorrows lesson. I WILL learn to swim. Does anyone have adult water wings they want to lend me? Ashton Kucher is the man!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
July 6, 2011
My 35th birthday. There was a time a few months ago where it briefly crossed my mind if I was going to make it to this day. I know it sounds silly but for all the positive attitude I had during chemo, there were moments of weakness. But it was but a moment and it passed. I am now cancer free. I have my next appointment on July 14. It will be blood work and an x-ray. I try not to dwell on these appointments. No sense in worrying about something I have no control over. Back to my birthday. I always make it a point to congratulate my mother on my birthday. I see it as its her day as well as mine, if not more so- after all, she did all the work that day, I just layed there and was born. In the past I never wanted to make a big deal for my birthday. No fanfare, no hoopla. Just spend it with family or close friends and a few times just by myself. This year, I decided to try something different. If you google, free stuff for your birthday, you can find all sorts of places that give you free stuff on that day. So let me tell you how its gone so far:
7:00am- woke up or rhys woke me up- unwrapped the gift that june bought me, IPAD 2- I love my wife (not because of the Ipad but I can see how that came across)
8:00am- I am at Denny's with my brother and sister enjoying my free Slam breakfast. Well dan had to pay but mine was free- while we waited, dan busted out 2 lego transformer sets and we raced to see who could put it together faster- I smoked him of course (it would have been different if it was a GO-bot lego, I'm sure)
11:00am - doctor appointment
12:30am- free fish and chips at Pajo's in steveston- I am shameless. Walked right up to the counter and declared, "Hi, I am here for my free birthday meal!" 2 piece Halibut fish and chips, nice( yes I threw the free pepsi drink in the trash and brought my own smartwater)
1:15- free starbucks drink- the cashier said I needed a birthday postcard. I said its a postal strike. The manager agreed with me- VENTI, iced, soy green tea latte, unsweetened
2:52- on my way to the mall, RW and co to use my 25% discount today
thats it for now, part 2 of my day may include- boston pizza (free pizza), mr sub (free sandwich), boathouse (free dessert), or dairy queen, buy one get one blizzard- although june will have to eat all the sweet stuff because I can't...
peace out
7:00am- woke up or rhys woke me up- unwrapped the gift that june bought me, IPAD 2- I love my wife (not because of the Ipad but I can see how that came across)
8:00am- I am at Denny's with my brother and sister enjoying my free Slam breakfast. Well dan had to pay but mine was free- while we waited, dan busted out 2 lego transformer sets and we raced to see who could put it together faster- I smoked him of course (it would have been different if it was a GO-bot lego, I'm sure)
11:00am - doctor appointment
12:30am- free fish and chips at Pajo's in steveston- I am shameless. Walked right up to the counter and declared, "Hi, I am here for my free birthday meal!" 2 piece Halibut fish and chips, nice( yes I threw the free pepsi drink in the trash and brought my own smartwater)
1:15- free starbucks drink- the cashier said I needed a birthday postcard. I said its a postal strike. The manager agreed with me- VENTI, iced, soy green tea latte, unsweetened
2:52- on my way to the mall, RW and co to use my 25% discount today
thats it for now, part 2 of my day may include- boston pizza (free pizza), mr sub (free sandwich), boathouse (free dessert), or dairy queen, buy one get one blizzard- although june will have to eat all the sweet stuff because I can't...
peace out
Saturday, July 2, 2011
July 2, 2011
It's been a while. Getting stronger as the days go by. Sleeping less and feeling better. Everything but the numbness in the hands. Very annoying. Apparently normal and will go away in a few months. Took Rhys to her first Canada day celebration. Steveston Salmon festival and parade downtown. What a day. That was yesterday.
Today was a new day. Saw my cousins off back to England in the morning. Always good times when family gets together. And the british accent is so suave and cool. June and I then went for a bike ride on the dyke to steveston. You know what's a pretty good shot at your manhood- when your wife is towing the trailer with your daughter and you are not and everyone looks at you when they ride by. Ah well- last time I went with the manhood deal and towed her- I suffered for 3 days afterwards. Waiting for that "I had cancer- not just a wimpy dad" t- shirt in the mail. Stupid postal strike. haha
I was reminded again recently about how precious life is- listening the to Jim Rome show. He had on a pro golfer named Erik Compton. This guy had 2 heart transplants and had a heart attack with one of them and still survived. He said a lot of stuff on the show that brought back some memories of my treatment. He said he doesn't complain about things anymore. He felt like it was his time, twice, and yet he survived. Living on borrowed time he called it. He lives each day like it's his last. Enjoying every moment for all its worth. Pretty inspirational. I think I still complain sometimes- gonna try and cut that out. Hope everyone is doing well. If I haven't seen you yet- please call and we can arrange something. Peace out...
Today was a new day. Saw my cousins off back to England in the morning. Always good times when family gets together. And the british accent is so suave and cool. June and I then went for a bike ride on the dyke to steveston. You know what's a pretty good shot at your manhood- when your wife is towing the trailer with your daughter and you are not and everyone looks at you when they ride by. Ah well- last time I went with the manhood deal and towed her- I suffered for 3 days afterwards. Waiting for that "I had cancer- not just a wimpy dad" t- shirt in the mail. Stupid postal strike. haha
I was reminded again recently about how precious life is- listening the to Jim Rome show. He had on a pro golfer named Erik Compton. This guy had 2 heart transplants and had a heart attack with one of them and still survived. He said a lot of stuff on the show that brought back some memories of my treatment. He said he doesn't complain about things anymore. He felt like it was his time, twice, and yet he survived. Living on borrowed time he called it. He lives each day like it's his last. Enjoying every moment for all its worth. Pretty inspirational. I think I still complain sometimes- gonna try and cut that out. Hope everyone is doing well. If I haven't seen you yet- please call and we can arrange something. Peace out...
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
June 18, 2011
I am beginning to outline certain events and landmarks in my life, post-cancer. They seem to be more meaningful to me now. Not that these events weren't important before but I definitely feel like I may have taken some things for granted in the past. Since I finished my treatment, I have:
1. attended my first wedding (laura and rays)
2. got my first haircut (thank you mrs wong)
3. attended friend's kids birthday
4. eaten a steak (thank you again laura and ray)
5. rode my bike on the dyke
6. watched a movie in a theatre
7. my first father's day
things I may have taken for granted before...no more
Sunday, June 12, 2011
June 12, 2011
When I first got diagnosed with cancer, I remember my mindset toward the future. There was obviously a lot of hope mixed with occasional despair and doubt. Andis would say to me all the time, "you gonna be alright, you know that, right." A lot of people encouraged me in many different ways, telling me how I was going to beat this and be back to normal soon. But I remember being at the mall and looking at a shirt. It was a nice shirt, and on sale. I picked it off the rack and began to walk to the register, but then I stopped. Even with all the confidence in my doctors, the treatment, and God, there was still doubt. I thought to myself, should you really be investing in something that you might not be around to enjoy? I know it sounds silly but those are the thoughts that went through my mind from time to time. Don't waste your money on material things that you may not be able to enjoy if you are dead. Funny how the human mind plays tricks with your soul.
A few weeks into my treatment, I got a wedding invitation in the mail. It was from our friends Laura and Ray. I remember reading the invite and looking at the date. June 11, 2011. My initial thought was, wow, that is months down the road, who knows what will happen in 3 months. Would I be too sick to attend? Would I be dead? But then I realized how stupid that sounded. This invitation was their way of encouraging me. They were inviting me because they were contending that in a few months, I would be ok, and would be able to attend. Sending back to rsvp via email was my way of reaffirming myself and where I would be in a few months.
So yesterday, at the wedding(which was an amazing, beautiful wedding) I was overwhelmed with joy firstly because I was seeing 2 amazing friends, in love, getting married, and secondly because in a way, it felt like an accomplishment for me to attend. I want to thank them for their encouragement months ago. Who knew a wedding invite would mean so much. So instead of being wheeled in on a wheelchair as I thought I would be a few months ago. I was busting a groove on the dance floor with June. God has used so many people and so many ways to continue to encourage me and show me his goodness, in sickness and in health.
You know you are old when 2 things happen at a wedding:
1. a song comes on and you go, Yes, this is my jam- and all the young people leave the dance floor and go back to their seats
2. you think you have been partying all night long and you are exhausted and just want to go home and sleep and you look at the time and its 9:34 pm
Congratulations Ray and Laura!
I bought a t shirt the other day. I plan to wear it a lot. It is a canuck shirt...GO CANUCKS GO!
A few weeks into my treatment, I got a wedding invitation in the mail. It was from our friends Laura and Ray. I remember reading the invite and looking at the date. June 11, 2011. My initial thought was, wow, that is months down the road, who knows what will happen in 3 months. Would I be too sick to attend? Would I be dead? But then I realized how stupid that sounded. This invitation was their way of encouraging me. They were inviting me because they were contending that in a few months, I would be ok, and would be able to attend. Sending back to rsvp via email was my way of reaffirming myself and where I would be in a few months.
So yesterday, at the wedding(which was an amazing, beautiful wedding) I was overwhelmed with joy firstly because I was seeing 2 amazing friends, in love, getting married, and secondly because in a way, it felt like an accomplishment for me to attend. I want to thank them for their encouragement months ago. Who knew a wedding invite would mean so much. So instead of being wheeled in on a wheelchair as I thought I would be a few months ago. I was busting a groove on the dance floor with June. God has used so many people and so many ways to continue to encourage me and show me his goodness, in sickness and in health.
You know you are old when 2 things happen at a wedding:
1. a song comes on and you go, Yes, this is my jam- and all the young people leave the dance floor and go back to their seats
2. you think you have been partying all night long and you are exhausted and just want to go home and sleep and you look at the time and its 9:34 pm
Congratulations Ray and Laura!
I bought a t shirt the other day. I plan to wear it a lot. It is a canuck shirt...GO CANUCKS GO!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
June 11, 2011
It's 2:00am. I am sitting in he rocking chair in Rhys' room because she has woken up and won't go back to sleep. Seems like a chore right, to sit here for hours waiting for your child to fall asleep. I mean, how much angry birds and words with friends can one play? For some reason, I never get tired of this. This is our father daughter time. I read or pray or play on my iPhone and she sleeps peacefully knowing her father is right there. Most of the time, I fall asleep before she does. Everyone keeps telling me that I should cherish this time because it won't happen again. Seeing as I am not expecting to get cancer again. I tend to agree. Watching her grow up before my eyes these last few months has reaffirmed that June was right about not working during the day so she could be a part of her development at this age.
Just a quick medical update. I am still feeling fine. Just get tired very quickly and fingers are constantly numb. The Canucks aren't helping to keep my stress levels down that's for sure. I thought about praying for a win but I remember what my pastor said a few weeks ago. God usually sides with the better team. Which is still the Canucks so we should be good. One more win- I can't believe it. Anyways. Hope to see all of you soon. Anyone who is interested in volunteering up at anvil please email me at gilyeung@live.com.
Later, Gil
Just a quick medical update. I am still feeling fine. Just get tired very quickly and fingers are constantly numb. The Canucks aren't helping to keep my stress levels down that's for sure. I thought about praying for a win but I remember what my pastor said a few weeks ago. God usually sides with the better team. Which is still the Canucks so we should be good. One more win- I can't believe it. Anyways. Hope to see all of you soon. Anyone who is interested in volunteering up at anvil please email me at gilyeung@live.com.
Later, Gil
Friday, June 3, 2011
June 3, 2011
It's amazing how fast life goes back to normal. Well almost normal. Most adults don't take daily naps (except you, Will). The aches and pains are supposed to go away. After a while, I wonder if I will just forget about them because I am used to it. Then the doctor called yesterday, to see how I was doing. It's funny how the heart skips a beat when I see the BC Cancer Clinic show up on the caller ID. Everyday Rhys asks me if my hair is growing back and if I am FUZZY DADDY. Yes, the hair is growing back and I have my sights set on a Bradley Cooper-type look soon.
I always wonder if I am going to subconsciously put the past behind me. Lately, God has reminded me through others around me that you can move forward and still look back.
Monday, May 30, 2011
May 30, 2011
June and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary this weekend. It was extra special because we realize that the last few months have really highlighted our wedding vows. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health. Not just words on a sweaty index card anymore. We spent some time reminiscing about the highlights of the last five years. We decided to focus on the highlights as the lowlights may have taken too long.
People often look for a partner based on many different criteria. I am no different. Most people tell me that June is way too hot for me. I agree. But funny is the new sexy, yo. Sorry, where was I going. Right. At the end of the day, you want your wife/husband to be the person who will be by your side when you are at your absolute worst. Not only beside you but often in front of you dragging your sorry ass out of the pit you have fallen into. I am proud to say that I have found that in June.
Happy Anniversary June. I believe the traditional 5 year gift is wood. This is not a joke. That is what google told me. (stop laughing Andis)
People often look for a partner based on many different criteria. I am no different. Most people tell me that June is way too hot for me. I agree. But funny is the new sexy, yo. Sorry, where was I going. Right. At the end of the day, you want your wife/husband to be the person who will be by your side when you are at your absolute worst. Not only beside you but often in front of you dragging your sorry ass out of the pit you have fallen into. I am proud to say that I have found that in June.
Happy Anniversary June. I believe the traditional 5 year gift is wood. This is not a joke. That is what google told me. (stop laughing Andis)
Friday, May 27, 2011
May 27, 2011
So I went to the doctors today. He said all the aches and pains I am feeling are normal. Apparently my body has a heightened sense due to my immune system trying to get back to normal. So my body reacts to every foreign thing more so than before. Made me feel like superhero (although I look the part of villain- lex luther, apparently). That was good news. The blood work all came back normal. I stopped by the chemo ward to say hi to the staff. I try to do that whenever I am in the area. It's funny how some of the nurses react to seeing me. Nowhere else would the reaction of, "what the heck are you doing back?" can be taken as a positive. I tell them I am just visiting and a huge relief comes over their face. You can't fake that kind of reaction. Even as my last treatment was weeks ago, I continued to be amazed by the staff at the cancer clinic. I know it's their job but you can tell they truly care about how you are doing.
I ran into another patient that I met previously. Sandy and her support person Joanne. Sandy is halfway through her treatment and Joanne is her trusted friend. I told them that I was cancer free. They were ecstatic. In life, people are usually happy for you to a certain degree. Celebrating one's successes may also come with jealousy and a twinge of "why him and not me". Not so in the cancer world. There are so many people losing the battle that when you hear of someone winning one, it becomes personal. I felt the same way when I was in treatment and people came back to tell the nurses that they had been pronounced cancer free. It filled me with joy and gave me hope. I think that's what Sandy felt today. Hope that she would win her battle too. I told her that I would continue to pray for her and keep fighting. She fought back some tears and wished me best of luck. She was also pleased that my hair was beginning to grow back. She can't wait for hers to do the same.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1
I ran into another patient that I met previously. Sandy and her support person Joanne. Sandy is halfway through her treatment and Joanne is her trusted friend. I told them that I was cancer free. They were ecstatic. In life, people are usually happy for you to a certain degree. Celebrating one's successes may also come with jealousy and a twinge of "why him and not me". Not so in the cancer world. There are so many people losing the battle that when you hear of someone winning one, it becomes personal. I felt the same way when I was in treatment and people came back to tell the nurses that they had been pronounced cancer free. It filled me with joy and gave me hope. I think that's what Sandy felt today. Hope that she would win her battle too. I told her that I would continue to pray for her and keep fighting. She fought back some tears and wished me best of luck. She was also pleased that my hair was beginning to grow back. She can't wait for hers to do the same.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
May 25, 2011
I have this pain on the left side of my body. Just underneath my rib cage. It only hurts when I bend down to pick up something. Those doctors at the clinic leave nothing to chance. I called and explained the pain to a nurse and I am back in there tomorrow for blood work and x-rays. I assume it is just the residual aches and pains from the chemo recovery. The numbness in my hands is annoying (but that could also be from playing Angry Birds)
As you know, I am widely regarded as the cheapest man on the planet. June's friend, Glo, calls me, GDG- stands for "good deal gil". Nowadays, I kind of look at money a little differently. Not that I am making it rain everywhere I go (that means spending money like it's water), but it is all about perspective. I don't go to 3 different grocery stores to buy 6 things, looking for deals. My time is worth more than the 2 bucks that I may have saved. Mind you, I still analyze every purchase like I am stepping into mortgage, then I realize that I have been standing there in Winners for 20 minutes mulling over a t-shirt for $15. Our household has also gone organic. Including meat. I thought that would kill us financially. June makes it work by spending the same amount of money on the organic meat as we would regular meat. So instead of a huge pack from costco, we get less meat. The budget stays intact and we just eat less meat and more veggies. Living in a world where convenience doesn't always equal healthy, the importance of food is something I realize I had neglected for a long time. The Macdonalds head office called my cell and asked if I was ok as I have not been sighted in any of their locations for months. They were concerned that something had happened to me and also profits for the last quarter had dipped significantly due to my absence which led to the stock dropping a few percentage points and the shareholders were beginning to panic.
Ah well- have you ever had the Veggie burger at Vera's? Tastes like a regular burger to me!
As you know, I am widely regarded as the cheapest man on the planet. June's friend, Glo, calls me, GDG- stands for "good deal gil". Nowadays, I kind of look at money a little differently. Not that I am making it rain everywhere I go (that means spending money like it's water), but it is all about perspective. I don't go to 3 different grocery stores to buy 6 things, looking for deals. My time is worth more than the 2 bucks that I may have saved. Mind you, I still analyze every purchase like I am stepping into mortgage, then I realize that I have been standing there in Winners for 20 minutes mulling over a t-shirt for $15. Our household has also gone organic. Including meat. I thought that would kill us financially. June makes it work by spending the same amount of money on the organic meat as we would regular meat. So instead of a huge pack from costco, we get less meat. The budget stays intact and we just eat less meat and more veggies. Living in a world where convenience doesn't always equal healthy, the importance of food is something I realize I had neglected for a long time. The Macdonalds head office called my cell and asked if I was ok as I have not been sighted in any of their locations for months. They were concerned that something had happened to me and also profits for the last quarter had dipped significantly due to my absence which led to the stock dropping a few percentage points and the shareholders were beginning to panic.
Ah well- have you ever had the Veggie burger at Vera's? Tastes like a regular burger to me!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
May 24 2011
It has been over a week. A week of contemplation. Maybe a little celebration but not really. Obviously being pronounced cancer free is a relief and cause for a little partying. But it wasn't like that. Reality sets in real quick. I have already received my next appointment date in July. More blood tests and x-rays. I know that the cancer is gone but there are still quite a few reminders of its temporary occupancy in my body. The aches and pains. The bruising on my hands from the needles. Numbness in the fingertips. The fatigue seems to still be there. It is kind of weird to nap longer than your 2 year old daughter. I sleep when she sleeps. Still trying to process everything that has happened. I reread some of my blog. I've kept every email of encouragement that everyone wrote me. Still seems pretty surreal even now. I am still amazed at the calmness during the last few months. A calm that has continued. I didn't spend a lot of time questioning why I got sick.(again a surprise as June usually calls me Blame-atron because of my tendency to try and pinpoint the why and who of dilemmas) My pastor's sermon on Sunday gave me a deeper understanding of suffering and perseverance. How suffering refines us and makes us more like Jesus. It's funny how things happen for a reason but the reasoning isn't always clear to you when you are going through it. I may just be too dense to see it at first. But then you look back and reflect on what happened and you realize that everything happens for a reason, good or bad.
My pastor loves using visual aids to drive his points home. Last sunday he showed a clip from Rocky Balboa, the last installment of the Rocky series.
"It's not how hard you get hit, but how hard you get hit and keep moving forward"- deep words from Mr Sly Stallone. Makes a lot of sense though.
What now? Life never stopped for us during this time of sickness. It slowed down a little. A few things on pause. Now we move forward with hopes of adding to our brood and possibly moving to a larger place. Rhys now prays for other people with cancer as part of her nightly prayer. I am reminded and pray for those who's life path crossed with mine in our time of trial. I pray for those who are battling this disease.
Keith, Marie, Susan, Walter, Soot Tang, Mrs Thornton, Patrick, Frank, Caron, Beverly, Marie, Janice, Tom, Adrian, Beth, Bill, Ross, Reinaldo, Brian, Lori, Mr Shee, Mrs Zhang, Anne, Awnavie, Chi, Dominic, Helena, Anne, Ian, Harvey, Dennis, Michael, Danny, Gary, Brooke, Dave, June, Bill, Carrie, Ruth, Debbie, Helen, Eden, Fran, Stacey, Sarah, Charlotte, Lisa, Tracy, Kara, Adele, Anna, Sue, Franzisca, Irene, Angie, Jen, Rav, Ruby, Vic, Timothy, Cheryl, Valerie, Candice, Catherine, Ben, Linda, Ron, Sandy, Joanne, Donna, Margaret, Lynn, and Ian.
These are some of the patients and nurses that I met during my treatment. I don't think I will ever forget some of them. I pray that as they battle and fight, there is peace.
My pastor loves using visual aids to drive his points home. Last sunday he showed a clip from Rocky Balboa, the last installment of the Rocky series.
"It's not how hard you get hit, but how hard you get hit and keep moving forward"- deep words from Mr Sly Stallone. Makes a lot of sense though.
What now? Life never stopped for us during this time of sickness. It slowed down a little. A few things on pause. Now we move forward with hopes of adding to our brood and possibly moving to a larger place. Rhys now prays for other people with cancer as part of her nightly prayer. I am reminded and pray for those who's life path crossed with mine in our time of trial. I pray for those who are battling this disease.
Keith, Marie, Susan, Walter, Soot Tang, Mrs Thornton, Patrick, Frank, Caron, Beverly, Marie, Janice, Tom, Adrian, Beth, Bill, Ross, Reinaldo, Brian, Lori, Mr Shee, Mrs Zhang, Anne, Awnavie, Chi, Dominic, Helena, Anne, Ian, Harvey, Dennis, Michael, Danny, Gary, Brooke, Dave, June, Bill, Carrie, Ruth, Debbie, Helen, Eden, Fran, Stacey, Sarah, Charlotte, Lisa, Tracy, Kara, Adele, Anna, Sue, Franzisca, Irene, Angie, Jen, Rav, Ruby, Vic, Timothy, Cheryl, Valerie, Candice, Catherine, Ben, Linda, Ron, Sandy, Joanne, Donna, Margaret, Lynn, and Ian.
These are some of the patients and nurses that I met during my treatment. I don't think I will ever forget some of them. I pray that as they battle and fight, there is peace.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
POST CHEMO: Day 1
I decided to restart the days. A post-chemo blog now. And I think I am going to keep blogging. Seems to be very therapeutic for me. Just in case anything was lost in translation from the last blog, let me explain further the medical prognosis. Back in January, they found a growth in my abdomen that was cancerous and about 5 cm long, 2 cm wide. This was the main concern. The doctor said there was 2 possible scenarios. 1. The chemo would kill the cancer cells and leave a mass of dead cells that would require surgery to remove. 2. chemo would kill the cancer cells and shrink the mass to the point it is completely gone. My ct scan last week showed that the mass was completely gone and I would not need surgery. The chances of cancer coming back are now slimmer than before, less than 10 percent. In all likelihood, a very good prognosis. Now begins the recovery and just letting my body heal, mostly the inside. Doctor said that most patients try and argue for more time off and I wanted less. We agreed on taking it one step at a time and take it slow.
I am sure I will see you all very soon. I know there will be a time to celebrate. Right now, I am just slowly taking it all in. Just trying to figure out my recovery time. There are some lifestyle changes that need to be made. When I got a call from my cousin Ken in England yesterday, it made me realize something very important. Although I am the one who had the cancer, everyone that I knew and cared about went through it with me. You guys were all there with me. It wasn't just about me fighting. So many people worried and waited for updates and stressed over my condition. So many people were relieved when I gave good news. With social media, there is no hiding anymore. Good news or bad, it gets out quick(thank you facebook). I hope that my faith in God that kept me sane through all this isn't something we glance over. I hope that we can speak openly and that I can share what it means to have a relationship to God and to live a life that has Him in control. Could be easy to say now because the cancer is gone. But I would like to think that this blog wouldn't be much different even if I had gotten a negative prognosis.
Oh and one more thing...
Go, Canucks, go!
I am sure I will see you all very soon. I know there will be a time to celebrate. Right now, I am just slowly taking it all in. Just trying to figure out my recovery time. There are some lifestyle changes that need to be made. When I got a call from my cousin Ken in England yesterday, it made me realize something very important. Although I am the one who had the cancer, everyone that I knew and cared about went through it with me. You guys were all there with me. It wasn't just about me fighting. So many people worried and waited for updates and stressed over my condition. So many people were relieved when I gave good news. With social media, there is no hiding anymore. Good news or bad, it gets out quick(thank you facebook). I hope that my faith in God that kept me sane through all this isn't something we glance over. I hope that we can speak openly and that I can share what it means to have a relationship to God and to live a life that has Him in control. Could be easy to say now because the cancer is gone. But I would like to think that this blog wouldn't be much different even if I had gotten a negative prognosis.
Oh and one more thing...
Go, Canucks, go!
Friday, May 13, 2011
THE RESULT! Days 88-89
Sorry. Blogsite was down. So I couldn't update my tests results. I am officially cancer free. The CT scan showed that the enlarged lymph node has completely disappeared with no other signs of cancer activity. Of course there was another resident/intern. And of course he made me drop my pants and yes the unofficial count of people in the medical field that has seen my junk is 15 ( for those of you keeping track at home). I gotta say- when we got the news, I didn't freak out or scream out with joy. June and I were both very calm. I mean I was happy for sure but we seemed to be at peace. Just like we have been for the last few months. Now the last few days I had run every possible scenario in my mind. It's like the movie Limitless where Robert de Neiro says to Bradley Cooper, "There isn't a scenario in this life where you don't work for me!" As I ran each scenario, good or bad in my head, I began to realize that,"there isn't a scenario in this life that God isn't in control!" I wasn't confident about what the doctor was going to say. But I was confident about how I was going to handle the outcome. I was going to fight. And if the cancer comes back, that will be my attitude for the rest of my life.
Surviving cancer is like winning an Oscar...
I would first like to thank GOD. And my wife June for sticking with me through the tough times. She really got a lemon of a husband and instead of complaining, she made lemonade. (or as Brock would say...chicken salad out of chicken...)
I would like to thank my family- mom, dad, Joan and Dan. You guys mean more to me than i could ever express in words. Chris and Stevo for spending more time in chemo with me than some patients. My doctors and nurses. Big ups to Dr Murray and my favorite nurse, Carrie. My boss Paul H for all the support. My partner in crime dave for everything. All the people that were praying for me. Pastor Darryl. Pastor Ken. Pastor Steve. Pastor James. So many more people I need to thank(cue the- get off the stage music). My buddies jay, ANDIS, chuck, dix, rob- who treated me the same and made me forget I was sick. Cat for checking up on me daily to see how I was feeling. My homegroup. I know I'm forgetting someone...
My doctor walked in and said "mission accomplished". I Thought to myself- the mission has just begun.
Sent from my iPhone
Surviving cancer is like winning an Oscar...
I would first like to thank GOD. And my wife June for sticking with me through the tough times. She really got a lemon of a husband and instead of complaining, she made lemonade. (or as Brock would say...chicken salad out of chicken...)
I would like to thank my family- mom, dad, Joan and Dan. You guys mean more to me than i could ever express in words. Chris and Stevo for spending more time in chemo with me than some patients. My doctors and nurses. Big ups to Dr Murray and my favorite nurse, Carrie. My boss Paul H for all the support. My partner in crime dave for everything. All the people that were praying for me. Pastor Darryl. Pastor Ken. Pastor Steve. Pastor James. So many more people I need to thank(cue the- get off the stage music). My buddies jay, ANDIS, chuck, dix, rob- who treated me the same and made me forget I was sick. Cat for checking up on me daily to see how I was feeling. My homegroup. I know I'm forgetting someone...
My doctor walked in and said "mission accomplished". I Thought to myself- the mission has just begun.
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Day 86-87
Chris took me up to Whistler for some relaxation. We certainly aren't young anymore. We drove up Monday morning. Hung out in the afternoon by walking around the village and sitting outside a Starbucks patio. We watched the Canucks game at a bar surrounded by a bunch of loud, drunk locals that were probably half our age. We were in our separate queen size beds by 9:30. Could we BE any more old.
For the last couple of months, I have cherished the experiences and time spent with loved ones more and more. Going through the chemo schedule I had wasn't exactly conducive to going out and experiencing a ton of things. I don't think I have that kind of personality or huztpah in me anyways. You won't be seeing any pics of me bungy jumping or running a marathon or sky diving. Not my cup of tea. But I do believe in experiencing new things. I am finally going to learn how to swim this summer in a swim class for adults.
Today, Chris brought me to a Scandinavian spa up at Whistler. Another new experience. You start off in a steam bath that was so hot, I was drenched in my own sweat in about 2 minutes. You stay in there or 15 minutes and then go jump in a freezing cold outdoor pool. The heat is supposed to release your toxins and then the cold water closes your pores. It's supposed to be good for the immune system. After that, you spend some time in a solarium and then repeat the cycle using a hot tub and then sauna. Anyone reading this, please don't tell my mom or she will have Chris shot. Getting away from the city was nice, and Whistler is always such a beautiful place. When I used to ski, I would always admire the Japanese people that I met up on the mountain. Their take on life is unique. They work hard and then they play hard. I remember meeting people that would work for 6-8 months of the year, 7 days a week. Then they would take the next 4-6 months and spend it skiing in Whistler. Now that's living. Work hard, play hard. How's that for balance?
For the last couple of months, I have cherished the experiences and time spent with loved ones more and more. Going through the chemo schedule I had wasn't exactly conducive to going out and experiencing a ton of things. I don't think I have that kind of personality or huztpah in me anyways. You won't be seeing any pics of me bungy jumping or running a marathon or sky diving. Not my cup of tea. But I do believe in experiencing new things. I am finally going to learn how to swim this summer in a swim class for adults.
Today, Chris brought me to a Scandinavian spa up at Whistler. Another new experience. You start off in a steam bath that was so hot, I was drenched in my own sweat in about 2 minutes. You stay in there or 15 minutes and then go jump in a freezing cold outdoor pool. The heat is supposed to release your toxins and then the cold water closes your pores. It's supposed to be good for the immune system. After that, you spend some time in a solarium and then repeat the cycle using a hot tub and then sauna. Anyone reading this, please don't tell my mom or she will have Chris shot. Getting away from the city was nice, and Whistler is always such a beautiful place. When I used to ski, I would always admire the Japanese people that I met up on the mountain. Their take on life is unique. They work hard and then they play hard. I remember meeting people that would work for 6-8 months of the year, 7 days a week. Then they would take the next 4-6 months and spend it skiing in Whistler. Now that's living. Work hard, play hard. How's that for balance?
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