It has been over a week. A week of contemplation. Maybe a little celebration but not really. Obviously being pronounced cancer free is a relief and cause for a little partying. But it wasn't like that. Reality sets in real quick. I have already received my next appointment date in July. More blood tests and x-rays. I know that the cancer is gone but there are still quite a few reminders of its temporary occupancy in my body. The aches and pains. The bruising on my hands from the needles. Numbness in the fingertips. The fatigue seems to still be there. It is kind of weird to nap longer than your 2 year old daughter. I sleep when she sleeps. Still trying to process everything that has happened. I reread some of my blog. I've kept every email of encouragement that everyone wrote me. Still seems pretty surreal even now. I am still amazed at the calmness during the last few months. A calm that has continued. I didn't spend a lot of time questioning why I got sick.(again a surprise as June usually calls me Blame-atron because of my tendency to try and pinpoint the why and who of dilemmas) My pastor's sermon on Sunday gave me a deeper understanding of suffering and perseverance. How suffering refines us and makes us more like Jesus. It's funny how things happen for a reason but the reasoning isn't always clear to you when you are going through it. I may just be too dense to see it at first. But then you look back and reflect on what happened and you realize that everything happens for a reason, good or bad.
My pastor loves using visual aids to drive his points home. Last sunday he showed a clip from Rocky Balboa, the last installment of the Rocky series.
"It's not how hard you get hit, but how hard you get hit and keep moving forward"- deep words from Mr Sly Stallone. Makes a lot of sense though.
What now? Life never stopped for us during this time of sickness. It slowed down a little. A few things on pause. Now we move forward with hopes of adding to our brood and possibly moving to a larger place. Rhys now prays for other people with cancer as part of her nightly prayer. I am reminded and pray for those who's life path crossed with mine in our time of trial. I pray for those who are battling this disease.
Keith, Marie, Susan, Walter, Soot Tang, Mrs Thornton, Patrick, Frank, Caron, Beverly, Marie, Janice, Tom, Adrian, Beth, Bill, Ross, Reinaldo, Brian, Lori, Mr Shee, Mrs Zhang, Anne, Awnavie, Chi, Dominic, Helena, Anne, Ian, Harvey, Dennis, Michael, Danny, Gary, Brooke, Dave, June, Bill, Carrie, Ruth, Debbie, Helen, Eden, Fran, Stacey, Sarah, Charlotte, Lisa, Tracy, Kara, Adele, Anna, Sue, Franzisca, Irene, Angie, Jen, Rav, Ruby, Vic, Timothy, Cheryl, Valerie, Candice, Catherine, Ben, Linda, Ron, Sandy, Joanne, Donna, Margaret, Lynn, and Ian.
These are some of the patients and nurses that I met during my treatment. I don't think I will ever forget some of them. I pray that as they battle and fight, there is peace.
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