Day 11

My daughter Rhys sometimes comes up to me when she has hurt something and says, "Daddy- I have an owee"- I then ask her where the owee is, and proceed to kiss her there. (One time it backfired when she told me she hurt her butt- not gonna kiss my kid's butt).  So when I kiss her owee, she says, "Thanks daddy, I feel better!"  Now I know I didn't really do anything but she feels better.  Psychological? Maybe.  I like to believe that it's because she knows her daddy loves her and that alone, makes her feel better.  I feel like that lately.  Let's be real, no doctor or bible will ever guarantee that I will be healed or cured.  Cancer kills people everyday.  I know that.  But believing that my life is more than just the day of birth and the day of death.  There is something to said for what goes on in between.  Lance Armstrong said he doesn't believe in God or faith but he does admit that people who do have faith have a "higher quality experience" during something like cancer.  Well, if life is more than just being born and dying, then I should think that there is something to be said about that experience.  I was asked if that was considered weak faith- i.e. thinking about the chance that I don't get better.  There is approximately 3 rounds of 21 days of chemo and then a month to wait for a scan.  In that time period, I will think about death, once in a while- but believing that God is providing me a "higher quality experience" sure makes the thoughts about death a lot less than thoughts about living.  Just asking my heavenly father to "kiss my owee"- and make me feel better.

Now just to give a medical update-  I passed day 10 with next to 0 white blood cells and now the body begins to heal in preparation for round 2.  I walked for an hour yesterday and today I ran 5 kms.  I think some of you think I am a shriveled up bald guy lying in bed- I'm not.  Doctors advised me to be as active as the fatigue and nausea will allow and the stronger my body is- the better round 3 of chemo will be when I am worn down.  I am trying to figure out how to post a picture of what I look like so: can you guys see this pic below?  June took it as I was surrounded by other cancer patients in chemo.