Day 26

THE WIFE SPEAKS:

Having been through 5 consecutive days of chemo this week (2nd round), Gil's feeling pretty weary today.  Not like his usual self.  So he's asked me to write his blog this day.

Hmmm. The only time I've typed on this blog is to edit Gil's writing.  Awesome writing.  Horrendous spelling and punctuation mistakes.  It drives him crazy whenever I correct him.  Well it drives me crazy whenever he makes grammar mistakes! =)

Anyhow, my own thoughts on all this?

Yes, like Gil said, this has all been surreal.  It's all happened so fast.

I was devastated when I first heard.  I cried.  Not in front of him (b/c he feels helpless when I cry) but after getting off the phone with him.  Called a good friend to cry on her shoulder.  Even though it was an excellent prognosis I was afraid for what he was going to have to go through with the chemo.  Sounded dreadful.

But after that we did what we knew we could only do-- speak to God together about it, give Him our fears/anxieties, read His words  and encourage each other.  Having the doctors and nurses walk us through the course of treatment eased my fears as well.

There have been 2 journeys for us thus far--the outward journey of the daily routine and the inward journey of processing all this with God.

The outward journey has been for the most part pretty normal, apart from all the drives to the clinic. Honestly, so far, the only times it gets hard for me is when Rhys is not cooperating.  (For Gil, well let's face it, cancer/chemo isn't a walk in the park.)  Gil not vomiting 16 straight hours, like many patients have had to suffer through, is a joyous and grateful relief. But when little miss Rhys throws a tantrum it can get TAXING.  But to be fair to her, it's only been few and far between, albeit very recent!  But a GINORMOUS thanks to Gil's mom (and rest of family) for taking care of Rhys whenever we need their help.  She'll go to no one else without us.

You wouldn't even know by looking at Gil that he has cancer, except now with his martian head...and on days like today when all Gil can do is sleep.  But without a shadow of a doubt, what is keeping our outward life so "normal" and positive is what God has been doing in us inwardly--answering your prayers and ours.  A million thank you's! You've caught a glimpse of it through some of the verses/songs he's shared.  It ain't us, that's fo sho.  Everything Gil said about himself is THE truth! My husband is an extremely paranoid worry wart by nature. If I could only show you all the posters he's put on our front door to remind me of stuff to do and not do!  Me? I'm way more laid back but still easily prone to despair and pessimism.  So for us to be so calm is really a testament to God.

Gil has quoted so many great words that have been our anchor.  I will add one more...one that came to mind while Rhys was falling asleep in my arms before bedtime tonight.  This one is dedicated to my man... for this very day.

"Do you not know?  Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. 
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."       Isaiah 40: 28-31

LIVESTRONG!
GILSTRONG!