Day 45

Due to my rough days, Rhys had to spend the last few days at mother's house.  When I went there today, she looked sad and said, "I don't like you."  I was devastated.  It's only been a few days- had she forgotten me already? When she finally realized that I wasn't there to take her away from grandma's she said, "I miss you dadda.  I love you." (Yes, apparently grandma's house is THAT much fun).  Sometimes I feel like I have the memory of a child.  I re-read some of my old blogs the other day.  I was surprised at some of the things that I wrote.  Maybe that's why it was important to keep a record.  I find myself having some short term memory loss of certain things.  Today as I prayed for my family and friends and various cancer patients, I found myself asking God about the future.  What does it hold for me?  I found the answer in the bible.  Where God told Joshua that he will be faithful and do what he said he would do.


⁵ No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Joshua 1:5

I took those words to heart.  More than anything, I want this experience that I have gone through to mean something.  To mean more than just a guy who got cancer and got cured.  I want it to mean that while I  was being cured, I renewed a relationship with a God who loves me and my family and my friends.  A God that I want to share with others that do not know him.  Deep down inside, June and I are preparing for a storm brewing in our lives.  A storm where other loved ones of ours will encounter hardship, disease, pain and suffering.  We want to be there and offer the support that we have gotten. A peace that transcends all understanding and logic.

Since I found out I had cancer- I have thought of death twice.  The first time was the sheer panic of the news, and death was a natural thought.  The second time was today- when I thought about my death, being a far and long way from now.  I have a lot more work to do.


I have been reading this book on awesome:  silly things, wanted to share some that brought a smile to my face.

little things we overlook, but are awesome;

1. flipping the pillow to the cool side in the middle of the night
2. when babies high five you or give you a pound
3. being the first table called at a wedding buffet